The Call Of The Dark

Those familiar with the English system of house purchase will know that it is a strange, elongated affair, providing - how shall I put it? - ample opportunities for spiritual self-development. A large part of the problem is that the purchase price of the house is 'agreed' at the outset, but is not legally fixed until contracts are exchanged some two months or more later, during which intervening period the interested parties are free to use whatever tactics they wish to try to tip the deal in their favour. Traditionally, if a purchaser reduces the price they are offering, this will be accompanied by some legitimate excuse, such as unforeseen circumstances arising out of the building surveyor's report, but it is becoming increasingly common, particularly amongst those who are buying a property as an investment, to simply demand a reduction in price because they have the power to do so and will walk out on the deal if they don't get it. Several months after the original agreement and a matter of days before the intended date of removal, this can be a difficult offer for vulnerable families and other innocent house-owners to refuse, a fact of which the investors are all too well aware. And of course, as far as they're concerned, it's only business.

Add to this the fact that the various house-owners involved - and there can often be a great 'chain' of these, their sales all dependent upon each others' - are not in touch with each other directly and can only communicate through a network of lawyers, estate agents, and other third parties, each of these with their own vested interests, and you have a perfect recipe for the kinds of double dealings, misunderstandings, and petty animosities which humans tend to attract into their lives. The little couple who were so polite when they came to look round your house some months ago (and have scarcely been seen since) tend to grow in the imagination into twin demons from the nether regions of hell, their horns growing longer and their tails sharper with every lawyer's letter which lands on the front doormat. It is all too easy to lose sight of the underlying humanity of the other parties involved.

So, as you might have guessed from all that, the news is that our house move is not running smoothly. I'm not sure the difficulties are anything out of the ordinary - many of the people we've told about them go on to tell us of similar problems they've had themselves - and our estate agent ensures us it will all be all right in the end, but I wanted to write about this here because I enjoy a good moan it brought it home to me how easy it is to get sucked into all this drama.

When I put down the phone after the latest news from the estate agent, I find myself attributing all sorts of sinister motives to the latest events. I compose replies to imagined letters, ripostes to imagined slights; I rehearse my departing speech as I storm from the room having cancelled the deal altogether in response to the evil subterfuge of the other parties involved. The fact that such a message would inevitably be imparted via the estate agent and toned down considerably in the process seems to escape me at such times. But this is hardly surprising, as this stream of consciousness has little to do with reality - any more than TV soap operas have to do with reality.

After all my years of what I like to think of as spiritual development, I have at least realized this much. I still engage in these conversations with myself. The difference is that I understand how ridiculous they are and that I don't have to do it if I don't choose to.

But that's the problem. Most of the time I do choose to. I do it because a large part of me likes it. I'll go further: a large part of me is addicted to it, just as an alcoholic is addicted to his favourite tipple.

I am not alone in my addiction. All over the world, we see evidence of people being drawn into drama, being drawn to turn the interactions of everyday life into a story, in which injustices are contrived  out of whatever material lies to hand. So people fall out with neighbours, family members and people they meet on the street; nations, races and religious groupings turn against each other and even slaughter each other, sometimes for many centuries on end: all because of some real or imagined sequence of events which has been twisted and moulded into a drama.

What is forgotten is that at the roots of such stories lie the actions of human beings like ourselves. These actions may often be selfish, thoughtless, sometimes even cruel, but all of them spring from motivations which we too will have experienced in our time. These people are human beings like ourselves and the chances are that we can understand them if we try.

Sometimes, when people's motivations are known,the impulse behind the conflict will evaporate in an instant. It will be obvious that there has been a misunderstanding. At other times, we may not forgive or condone what people have done but there may be some understanding of why they did it. That way lies a coming together, a setting down of arms, an end to conflict.  But that way lies no story, so most of the time it is not a path which we take.

In an earlier post, The Ultimate Purpose Of Life?, I suggested that the drama inherent in human interactions might be one of the reasons we are here on the Earth: that we need all this darkness to help to understand our essential nature, the Light. And, indeed, the creation of these stories seems to be an impulsive habit of ours. Even when there is nothing 'real' to hand to tell ourselves stories about, we have to sit down and read books and watch movies, in which people - by and large - do terrible things to each other. We really like this stuff.

It is, perhaps, a question of balance. To drink the odd glass of wine is not a problem. It is only when bottle follows bottle that things can get out of hand. Well, perhaps we are on our third or fourth bottle of drama right now. Only a few days ago, news networks were showing footage of the Virginia Tech killer in an endless loop to meet our demand for the darkness. Just how much of this do we need to see the light?

I have previously expressed reservations about the DVD The Secret here in this blog, yet I do believe in the Law of Attraction. If we dwell upon negative things, that is what we attract into our lives. If we want positive things in our lives, we have to think about them instead. It's obvious really. Even if you discard the spiritual element (which I don't) there are very good common sense reasons why the world should work in this way.

Yet knowing this, why do I still do it? Why do I still dwell on that labyrinth of problems which is the story? Why do I allow myself to be drawn into the same sort of convoluted dialogue with myself as Cho Seung-Hui used to 'justify' his violence? Why is all this drama so compelling?

As I think about this, I turn and gaze out of the window into the garden, where many of the trees are covered in pink blossom, the birds are singing, and there are green shoots of new growth springing out of the ground. Everywhere is full of the promise of spring, and just for a moment, it is enough to hold me. In the distance, I hear the darkness calling again, yet just for a moment, I am content.

We need to remember: we have a choice.

Comments

[Battlerocker]

I think the darkness is appealing because it allows us to have some contrast for the otherwise light parts of our life. If we were immersed, we'd hate it. But if we can be outside looking in, it seems comforting for some twisted reason.

[Sally]

Brilliantly put Simon.........these are the habits of a lifetime.....or indeed many lifetimes, depending on your beliefs.

To stay with the positive though many of my "Spiritual" friends are undergoing house moves at this time and in joke one said "there should be a book written about trying to move house and remain Spiritual"........so there you go.........with the wonderful humour you use it would make a great read.

And remember that as long as you notice the mind creating or getting sucked into the stories you are never quite back in there! So development is ongoing but is happening.Could even be a fast-track to enlightenment!

[surjit]

"Ten thousand things are moving around you,
With detachment percieve the cycles"......Tao
We have no choice but to observe the things which are beyond our control.All that we can do is to pray always for the peace and betterment of this world.A good post,Simon.Best wishes.

[Malcolm Campbell]

You've pretty much written a treatment for a TV show, perhaps fiction, perhaps a reality show, with a name like WHAT THE BLEEP DOES IT TAKE TO MOVE OUT OF THIS OLD HOUSE WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE THE DARN THING AWAY.

Malcolm
(aka Knight of Swords)

[RICHARD]

BETTER THINGS TO KNOW

[Mark]

Yes, the key is to remember we have a choice. It is also important to understand that much of what we are exposed to in the media is drama. We are made to feel that if we don't have drama then we must be leading a pretty boring, sad little life.
Of course the reality is that when we choose to not go to the dark side, we become more aware and live a more abundant life.

[Ally]

Karen Salmansohn writes about why we choose drama so often over true happiness in her blog at www.notsalmon.com -- and on her sirius show BE HAPPY DAMMIT -- saying Carl Jung says we need meaning and purpose in our lives -- and sometimes people choose drama as low level quests to give them meaning and purpose -- instead of putting in the effort of pursuing a high level quest liike a career whihc excites or a relationship which enlighten and educates.

[Secret Simon]

Battlerocker - Thanks - I think you're right. Maybe that's part of the reason why people rubberneck at traffic accidents: "I might be having a bad day but at least I'm not spattered all over the tarmac." When we contemplate the sufferings of others, we need to think very carefully about where we're coming from: are we trying to help or are we just gloating? Only by being aware of such attitudes can we see how they might be changed. As to why we should also be drawn to the darkness in our own lives, I guess that's another part of this strange puzzle.

Sally - As ever, thanks for your support! I'm too close to the action to write that book at the moment, but maybe I'll save it up for the future. As to 'a fast track to enlightenment', you might seriously have a point there. House moves can be enough to bring anyone's ego to the point of surrender.

Surjit. Thanks - There's a calm wisdom about your words. Perhaps we can sit in the eye of the storm and observe it raging around us.

[Secret Simon]

Malcolm - Yes, once I get that book written, there'll certainly be a TV spin-off. And wait till I market the cuddly toys of lawyers and estate agents....

RICHARD - I took a look at your blog and there's some good positive stuff on it, but you might reach more people if you use the lower case of the keyboard occasionally and leave comments that are less like spam!

[Secret Simon]

Mark - Yes, and the need for the media to create drama is getting in the way of honest discussion, apart from anything else. Politicians daren't say what they think because they know that their words will be used to make a story for tomorrow's papers. So they have to make what they say almost content free. So nothing can be properly discussed - everything has to be said in code. To a passing Martian, this must seem like some kind of madness.

Ally - Hello and welcome! Thanks for drawing my attention to Kate Salmonsohn's blog. I have noticed that when people try to retreat from life and don't do very much, they tend to turn every little thing in their lives into a drama. It's like we have a basic need for *incident* in our lives. Will this need be fully satisfied by turning away from all the shallow dramas of life to concentrate on a meaningful career or relationship? I like to think that it will, but I can't quite *imagine* it - perhaps because I'm still hooked on all the petty dramas myself.

[Marion]

Oh, Simon, you sound just like me...I do the runaround in my head, knowing I have chosen to do so! Lol! But, on the other hand, running drama that has little to do with the present moment through my head, does lead to conclusions on the odd occasion.

It is when these thoughts become obsessive, when I have already solved or worked on a problem and am still going on with it...then I have to begin wondering if my choice to obsess is the right one.Then it is time to kick myself in the butt!

[thethinker]

"Even when there is nothing 'real' to hand to tell ourselves stories about, we have to sit down and read books and watch movies, in which people - by and large - do terrible things to each other." -- that's pretty much why the entertainment industry makes all of its money.

[People in the Sun]

I get mad at my roommate for not cleaning enough and then I get a headache, so I think, Not only does she not clean after herself, but her mere presence gives me a headache.

But of course, the headache comes from my own thoughts and obsessions.

Then, once I understand that, I can put some good music on and clean the damn house myself. Or I can take a Tylenol and continue to sink into anger.

It's a long journey, which means I clean more often and get angry less, but I still have the Tylenol by my side. Just in case.

That didn't help you sell your house or silence the voices in your head, but at least you know you're not alone here. Good luck (in both things).

[Secret Simon]

Marion - Your comment reminds me of Nick Roach's teaching. First satisfy yourself that you have taken whatever action you can about an issue and *then* stop turning it over in your mind. If there is still stuff to work out, you are bound to keep coming back to it. It can sometimes be hard to work out whether you *have* done all you can though. Has the time come to forget about it or not? Perhaps it is worth remembering that we have more in our mental toolbox than the conscious mind. The subconscious can often be more effective in working out our problems, either in sleep or meditation.

Thinker - You are quite right - even songs are often about something terrible happening! I don't think we should blame the entertainment industry though. They give us what we want. Somewhere along the line we have to think about what that really is. How much drama do we want in our lives and how much peace and love? I really think that question lies at the root of the human condition. (Hmm - I must write a post about that sometime...)

People - Thanks for your good wishes and for the nice review you gave me on Stumble Upon. That looks like an interesting site. It sounds like your headaches are a useful warning sign to help you keep your anger in check. So you take a change in perspective or take a pill. At the moment, my anger is just raging on and on - all to do with this move business! But at least I seem to be looking at it from outside. I know that my anger isn't really me. I don't have to let it control me, and I know that there will be a time when it has gone.

Thanks to you all for your comments!

[Liara Covert]

I agree knowing why people behave as they do doesn't mean we condone what has been done. The fact we begin to grasp another person's motives for their hurtful behavior doesn't mean its easier to accept or forget. Each of us can learn that the situations we attract into our lives are some reflection of how we feel and what is or isn't resolved inside ourselves. I have known people who think they focus energy on positive thinking when their unresolved issues are actually undermining their personal progress. Until you get-to-know and admit your feelings and reasons for them, you may not really know what you will attract or why.

[Secret Simon]

Hi Liara and welcome to my blog! You make a very perceptive point, I think. I shall be posting some more about our house sale problems because I've come to realize that they were indeed teaching me something I had to learn - and indeed still have to learn, which is to accept what is instead of getting hung up on a particular outcome.