The Secret Antidote

In a post a few months back, I mentioned The Secret, the DVD which has recently done so much to popularize the law of attraction, the idea that we can draw to ourselves whatever we want through the power of positive thought. Now Secret Of Life reader Pam has emailed me about a new critique of The Secret; by psychotherapist and author Thom Rutledge. It's called The Secret Antidote and you can find it here.

If you're using the law of attraction and making it work for you, you may not wish to read Thom Rutledge's article. Just keep up the good work! If, on the other hand, you are having difficulty in making the law of attraction work for you in practice or you simply want to investigate The Secret phenomenon further, then you may be interested to take a look.

As for myself, well, I expressed some reservations about The Secret in that earlier post, but I find that I have a similar reaction to Thom Rutledge's analysis. All in all, I think he's a bit hard on The Secret, but rather than say any more just now, I'll leave you to see what you think. If you let me know, we can chat about it in the comments...

Comments

[SANDY G.]

Hi Simon. Thanks for the visit.

I'm glad you enjoyed the piano playing kitty! I hope you come back often.

I really like your site by the way. Would you mind if I put up a link to you?

~Sandy G.

[Karen]

Great topic! "The Secret" certainly was well marketed, I'll agree with you there. I have to admit that I haven't read the book, but that's mainly because I have been told that the message is, as this gentleman says, oversimplified and perhaps a bit dangerous. I can see how this might be the case. Even if it is meant to be a sincere and well intented message of empowerment to those who feel powerless or disenfranchised - the book does not appear to be balanced with the reality that, altough we have the ability to affect great change in our lives (a potential the likes of which we are probably undershooting by miles due to distractions, ego issues, etc.) we also have to accept the fact that we do not have control over all factors that contribute to our current situation. Our personal perception, attitude and actions may weigh in at as much as 90% of the controlling factors in our circumstance, but, by golly, there are external factors at work as well. This cannot be dismissed. Not factoring these external and uncontrollable elements into the equation is indeed dangerous in that one might blame themselves 100% for a perceived failure or accept 100% of the credit for a success - when odds are pretty unlikely that either was a total go-it-alone venture. Seems pretty simplistic and delusionally egocentric to me. Still, I'd be more likely to take what the reviewer guy said to heart if he weren't trying to sell me something. But, see, I'm a skeptic. Didn't read the book. Won't be buying the "Antidote." That's just me. Thanks for the invitation to dialogue. (Sorry such a lengthy response.) Enjoyed your blog!

[cardiogirl]

I love the experiment he suggests of the authors:

"One of the authors stand on top of a three story building, request of the universe that a big net to catch him, and then jumps. Seems like a reasonable experiment, given this revelatory information."

I complete agree with his article and the damage this book could do to most of the people reading it.

[Pam]

Um, Karen? The Antidote is free -- it's on the website that Simon linked to, in its entirety, and from your comment above it looks like you've read the whole thing. Thom Rutledge isn't selling The Antidote, he's effectively just providing a detailed (and provocative) review of The Secret. While it's true that there are two links to amazon.com on that page, one for The Secret itself and one for Rutledge's own book, Embracing Fear, these are entirely separate from his Antidote message. You don't have to click on either link in order to read The Antidote. I think it's perfectly reasonable for Rutledge to include links to relevant books -- many websites do this, after all -- and people who like Rutledge's web writing might well want to check out one of his published books. In fact, by linking to The Secret as well, it looks like true equal opportunity advertising, to me! And Simon, a minor correction to your initial post -- Thom Rutledge is a psychotherapist, not a physiotherapist. OK, I'm done correcting now....

[Secret Simon]

Thanks for pointing out my slip of the keyboard, Pam. My post has now been corrected. And thanks for all the comments so far. I'll respond at greater length soon...

[profesora]

Read The Secret Antidote and agree with absolutely everything Thom Routledge says. He has encapsulated all my objections and frustrations re The Secret.

I don't think he's too hard on The Secret at all. It is potentially dangerous, for all the reasons he gives in his well-reasoned objections; he lives in the real world and deals with real people - he doesn't want them to be harmed. By adding in a few amendments/modifications to the text/phraseology, The Secret could be much more helpful and less potentially harmful.... that's my opinion, anyway.

Thanks for finding this, Pam.

[Soul Dancer]

Thanks for the comment. I certainly DO hope to be a butterfly soon. I will certainly do some further research on the topic of anger. If only to avoid the past of NUMBING it. I will certainly be checking out your blog.

Thnks for the support,
Soul Dancer (Dana)

[Lx]

the secret of life
is death.

[Karen]

Pam,
I stand corrected. Thanks.

[Karen]

Since I truly haven't read the Secret or the Antidote, maybe I should just bow out of the conversation. Best regards.

[Secret Simon]

First of all, welcome to Sandy and Soul Dancer! (responding to comments I'd left on their respective blogs) And in case anyone is wondering, Sandy's post at http://atyourservie.blogspot.com/2007/08/nora-sequel-better-than-original.html is indeed the best video of a cat playing the piano I've ever seen.

As for Lx, I'm sorry but you seem to be missing out on something here!

Karen - your comments are very much appreciated. Regular readers will know that I occasionally comment on books I haven't read myself - life is so short! You raise an excellent point, and the fact that you haven't read The Secret doesn't make a lot of difference here because - as far I can remember - The Secret doesn't really clarify this point.

As I understand it, the law of attraction is about more than just positive thinking affecting our ability to succeed - though that is, of course, a very important ingredient. It is also about us using the power of positive thought to influence the universe to attract to us whatever we need to succeed in our endeavours. So if we want to set up our own business, for instance, we need determination and vision in order to do this. But in order to succeed, we may also need a few breaks. We need to bump into the right people perhaps, or we need the right conditions to appear in the marketplace. Here's where what some people might think of as the more wacky aspects of the law of attraction come into play, where we can actually influence *some* of what Karen calls the external factors.

Notice I use the word "some", though because there can be a problem if things get too specific. I'll use another example to illustrate this. Say you want to find the perfect partner, someone who is (say) a kind, charming extrovert. Fine. You can use the law of attraction on this. If, however, you want this partner to be Jim down the street (who you happen to fancy) then this is never going to happen unless Jim down the street also happens to fancy *you*. And even then it's not going to happen if Jim is a mean unfriendly introvert. I've known people try to use the law of attraction for years without understanding this limitation about specifics. The law of attraction can be used to conjure all manner of wonderful things out of the great well of possibilities which is the universe. But it can't be used to exercise mind control over individual people.

Thom Rutledge's scenario about asking for a net to catch you as you jump off a high building (as also mentioned by cardiogirl) falls (sic) under this same limitation, I think. It's demanding too much of the well of possibilities. But if, say you want to take up bungee jumping and either can't afford it or you're scared of heights, then perhaps that is something which the law of attraction can tackle...

More to follow...

[Secret Simon]

In other words, the The Secret overstates its case. It is silent about these limitations and, as Rutledge suggests, its ideas are presented with an absolute certainty which cannot be supported by the facts.

I do understand, however, why the information is presented in such a way. I personally believe in the law of attraction, but I also believe that it's nothing like as easy to put into practice as The Secret suggests. It is not positive thinking which is required - it is absolute certainty, and to instill this certainty in their readers, it was necessary for Rhonda Byrne and her team to leave out the 'small print' which absolute honesty would have required. Thom Rutledge's version of The Secret (and perhaps indeed profesora's) would have been more honest and more accurate, but - I believe - nothing like as effective, because there would have been too many ifs and buts in people's minds...

Whoops - it's getting late here. More to follow tomorrow...

[Sue Ann Edwards]

Greetings!

It's me again, coming out of left field. Personally, I liked The Secret better then What The Bleep but, found both to be mickey mouse basic primers.

I keep wondering when someone is going to publish some 'meat'. I just guess it will have to be me.

[Sue Ann Edwards]

ps. Our belief is not required for the law to be working. Look to our emotional levels and realize that fear of death is not a love for life. Nor is sensitivity the same as being weak in emotional coping skills.

[Secret Simon]

Welcome back again, Sue, and thanks for your comments! Yes - I think both The Secret and What The Bleep? were intended for people who are totally new to these sorts of ideas. Like you, I much prefer The Secret of the two. I found What The Bleep? to be a rather disappointing mishmash of sound-bites. At least The Secret is clear and to the point, in spite of the limitations we're discussing.

As for belief, I agree, Sue, that belief in the law of attraction isn't needed to make it work. Indeed, I think it's in operation all the time, even if we've never even heard of it. We are continually attracting things and/or pushing them away with our thoughts - usually unconsciously. But I do think that to make the law of attraction work for us we have to be certain that we can have what we want - to think of it, indeed, as having already happened - and also be certain about what it *is* that we want. It is this certainty which is difficult to achieve.

I empathise with Thom Rutledge when he says (in The Secret Antidote): "Even when I am thinking positively about something, it is not unusual to simultaneously be aware of skeptical or even negative thoughts that are not in agreement with the positive thoughts. To be able to achieve the singular-mindedness, that these authors insist we have, is not humanly possible."

I would state this less strongly though. I think it is simply extremely difficult, not impossible. I think it is possible under three different circumstances: 1) by people who are naturally exceptionally positive - and will therefore be successful anyway, with or without The Secret, 2) in the wave of uncritical enthusiasm which The Secret specifically sets out to induce in people and 3) by those who are enlightened enough to be free of attachments and are therefore free of the negative thoughts which tend to get in the way - as described in my earlier post http://secretoflife.typepad.com/the_secret_of_life/2006/10/those_of_you_wh.html In other words, you can have whatever you want - once you realize that you no longer really need it!

(Sorry, Sue - your final words are too cryptic for me again. I don't understand the love of life/fear of death/sensitivity/coping skills bit. Further explanations would be welcome!)

[Sue Ann Edwards]

Hi Simon!

I was thinking about eye strain and I tried to make it short. I guess that was too short, huh? Ding-a-ling me, I ask for Patience and Tolerance.

Of course it isn't effective to be thinking one thing and feeling another. That is what is called 'being conflicted'. That means conflict is what is going to be attracted, not what the person is conflicted about.

It really isn't as hard as you're imagining it to be but...you are imagining it to be that way...so it is. It's a free choice, I guess but, lazy me asks 'wouldn't easy be more loving?'

My words attempt to convey, tho none too successfully obviously, that most of us are focused on Fear of Death and not a Love for Life.

I'll try it another way. What we 'worship' with every breath of our life, is Death. It's subliminal for most of us, lurking deep in our subconscious. But it's there, within all of us. We have been 'programmed' that way in our thought patterns.

The sentiments I expressed about the authors of the subject material, are part of one of my issues. And I'm claiming my attitude as my own issue.

"Mickey Mouse" is how I regard the Understanding presented.

'Run Spot Run'...gimme me a break. They write about states of awareness they have yet to consciously experience. Making a mucky mess of it all. I must have mistakenly imagined one of the tenets of being a writer is knowing what we're writing about.

As for my comment about coping skills, I point out that 'secure' is an emotion. That makes 'security' an emotional issue, not a material one.

We're insecure because we lack emotional coping skills. We lack discipline when it comes to governing our own emotions. Our own peptide production.

You might be interested in what I just posted. It wasn't easy for me to write, simply because of what is written.

What we DON'T want to hear, is usually what we need to hear, for our own sakes.

Here's an exercise for you. Take a rubber band. graps an 'end' in each hand. Now for every negative thought you have about yourself, pull on one end of that rubber band. Do the same thing for every negative thought you have about someone else. And the same thing for every negative thought you have about the World. And finally, do the same thing for every negative thought you have about life.

Now when that rubber band snaps and, all that negative starts returning from whence it came, who is it going to get hit?

[Secret Simon]

Thanks Sue Ann. I'll respond further down. I just want finish off my reaction to The Secret Antidote. There's a couple of main points I still want to make.

1) I share Thom Rutledge's belief in the importance of hard work and persistence. It should have been made clear in The Secret that it isn't enough just to "put out there" whatever you want and then sit back and wait for the universe to deliver. You have to make clear what you want and then *put in the necessary work*. This could have been explained without in any way detracting from the impact of The Secret. The problem with specifics which I mentioned earlier could also have been explained fairly easily. To have left such clarifications out is an important flaw in the work.

2) On another point, I would like to defend The Secret, however. When Thom Rutledge speaks of people being harmed by The Secret's message that if things are going wrong, it's your own fault, he is talking as though this message is new, as though it is The Secret alone which is saying this. But in fact, this message is not new. The Secret is simply reworking old ideas. To blame any possible damage from these ideas on The Secret alone is therefore a bit unfair. A book I greatly respect, Conversations With God, said much the same thing almost twenty years ago, and Louise Hay has been blaming us all for our illnesses for even longer. The Secret's only crime, perhaps, is in being even more successful.

It is indeed regrettable if people hear this message of personal responsibility and sink deeper into depression because of it, but fortunately I suspect that a much more common reaction is for people to simply to dismiss the message as nonsense.

And indeed, in the case of illness, it certainly is nonsense. While I fully accept that "dis-ease" in the mind can cause disease in the body and that getting your mind sorted out can improve your chances of physical recovery, it just isn't true to assert, as The Secret does, that a healthy mind will inevitably lead to a healthy body. I can think of many examples which contradict this - I really must do a post about this soon, because I think it's important.

[Secret Simon]

Sue Ann - I think you're right. "Attracting conflict" is an inevitable result of the confused way in which most of us think most of the time. How can the universe give us what we want when we don't make it *clear* what we want?

What you say about love and fear reminds me again of Conversations With God. So often, love is leading us to attract what we want, but fear (of either getting or not getting what we want) is generating the contrary thoughts and feelings which get in the way.

I'm not sure about what you say about *governing* our emotions. We may not be very good at it but is it always a good idea to even try? Isn't it better to feel our emotions and so release them, just as a child would do? If we don't allow ourselves to express our emotions, we get stuck with them, and *that* is where the problem lies. It is these suppressed emotions which can generate the negative thoughts which tweak the rubber band. Ouch.

[Karen]

I just wanted to say thanks, S.S., for your follow up comments.

[Secret Simon]

No problem, Karen. I hope you found them useful.

[Liara Covert]

The Secret indeed offers thought-provoking ideas. Some people absorb the thoughts, yet, forget they need to align their energy to help facilitate changes in the Universe. Things won't simply unfold as you hope if you only sit at home and wait for them. You need to learn how to feel the outcome you desire and also take steps to create what you can. You control your mind, but not everything. Work with your life and savor it.

[Simon]

Yes, I think part of the reason The Secret was so successful was that it seemed to present the law of attraction as an easy option. Once you knew it, that was it: you were sorted. But as you say, Liara, you have to put in the work.

[Sally]

Hi Simon
Have to admit I haven't had time to view all the comments on this thread....but wanted to share that while I was on retreat with Eckhart Tolle last week he mentioned The Secret. He said to remember that whatever you seek to bring into your life, remember it will not make you happy. The vitally important message in The Secret is gratitude......being grateful for what is there is total acceptance of what is and will attract more positive to you.
Felt it was important to share with you all.
Much love and stillness to all......love the new format Simon
See you Tuesday all "being" well
Sally

[Bet]

Is there a conflict here? On the one hand we want to manifest what we want (let's face it, this is probably an ego thing) and on the other hand we think we can live with acceptance. Can't go in two directions at once.

[Simon]

Thanks for your comments, Sally and Bet (and welcome Bet!)

It's very interesting to have Eckhart's thoughts on The Secret, Sally. Thanks for sharing them with us. My own feeling, too, is that gratitude is the most important component in the law of attraction, so I'm pleased that Eckhart confirms this. And yet surely our gratitude (as opposed to our acceptance) should be focussed on those aspects of our lives that most please us? That way, the universe knows to bring us more of them. If we are grateful for *everything*, won't we just get more of it all - 'good' and 'bad'?

Bet - Thanks for raising this. Yes, the way things tend to be presented, there does seem to be a conflict. I think it is a question of priorities, though. Personally, it seems to me that acceptance is the priority. We can send out an intention, but in order for this to 'work' we have let go of attachment to the outcome. In other words, we have to accept whatever happens, whether we get it or not. I've explained this better in my earlier post 'How To Have It All'. And like you say, this manifesting business is often an ego thing anyway. Do we really want what we think we want? Probably not.