Not Between You And Them...

Here are some words I love:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
  people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
  you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway. 

If you are honest and frank,
  people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
  someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway. 

If you find serenity and happiness,
  they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today,
  people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway. 

Give the world the best you have,
  and it may never be enough;
Give the best you've got anyway. 

You see, in the final analysis
  it is between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

In the previous post - and, indeed, several times on this blog - I've talked about our need to validate ourselves in the eyes of others. How are we to lose this unhelpful habit? Perhaps one way can be found through these words of Mother Teresa. Because it may help to bear in mind that what is considered 'success' won't necessarily bring us true recognition - even in the eyes of the world. All too often the jealousy of others will get in the way. Only in the eyes of God can the truth prevail and our genuine worth be acknowledged.

These words can still resonate, even if we don't acknowledge the existence of God - or don't care for the word. It was never between you and them anyway. It is between you and the universe, you and truth, you and justice. It is what is to be done.

Comments

[Sally]

I love these words Simon and the more you do as she advised the easier it gets I feel......I am a work in progress on this front still I must say.
I have some wise words above my computer here which say....."The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else"...which is what happens in everyday life.
Plus the words of Dr Suess saying "Be who you are and say what you mean because those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind".......sorry to talk in cliches here but these words have helped me so much.
I have realised that we can go through our lives looking over our shoulder wondering what others are thinking about us and how we stack up........not knowing that other people are looking over their shoulders wondering the same thing.
Be true to yourself is all I can say.....it gets easier with practice. I often open my mouth and speak my truth and realise I have said it not to my Spiritual friends but to my Mum or husband or daughter (who aren't quite on my wavelength, and in the past I would have bitten my tongue and said nothing)......and without reacting to their cynical replies reactively ......just leaving the idea there can have an effect over time.....I see it as seed planting.
Life is a learning curve and all experiences are there to help us grow .....I see this more and more.
My best to all
Sally

[Alexys Fairfield]

Simon,
This is a awesome. I was just speaking of Mother Teresa yesterday. Her simplicity is mind-boggling and very powerful.

Thank you for shaing this gem today.

Have an inspiring day.

[People in the Sun]

It's all true, but it's often too easy to forget. It was my mother, who taught me I was just like other people, only better. And it was the city or the country I was born in, which taught me everything was a competition; everything was a zero-sum game. And it was me, who always took the easy way out and chose conflict over peace.

[Malcolm Campbell]

When I've got good news to share with my friends, I really love (haha) hearing the "wow, you lucky stiff" response--like I had nothing to do with it.

I should remember Mother Teresa's words more often.

Malcolm

[Chase March]

Those words are exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you Secret Simon. It is inspiring. I think I will share these with my clas when we get back from the Easter Long Weekend.

[Mark]

I love these words. They are so wise and always bring a smile to my face. This is love in action!

[Lynda Lehmann]

Secret Simon, thank you for sharing these great words. Yes, we must do the good things anyway, irregardless of people's jealousy, greed, inuendoes, or accusations.

Because in the end, we have only our own conscience and god (however you conceive the Higher Power) to answer to!

[mergingpoint]

Im reading it again after a longtime. Who else has the authority to voice such words other than great beings like Mother Teresa.

Sometimes whats done as good and helping may appear as bad for someoneelse, but dont bother. Just be clear and remain well connected and let you be a channel for that moment. Dont ever say, im doing good. Let it happen and only be grateful to the Divine when you see things happening thro you.

[Sue Ann Edwards]

I use the phrase "it's not about me".

It's not about how other people feel 'about me'.

It's not about what other people think 'about me'.

When we're coming from a place where it IS about us, then we're being emotional dependents and acting out of fear, rather then Love and Honor and, our actions will not bring to us our desire.

When we are being Real, then we can count on our relationships to be Real. Those who like what we have to share and express will quite naturally be attracted, while those that don't like it, won't.

And when we're emotionally self nurturing, when we're acting from a place of loving and honoring ourselves by being Honest, EVEN THO WHAT WE HAVE TO SHARE MAY NOT BE PERCEIVED AS 'kind' or 'nice', we have acted in a way of greatest respect for Life. Both ours and the other person's.

For whenever we lie, in order to gain a manipulated response for another, then that person will eventually find out and will be hurt by our deceit.

[Marion]

So many times, when I am unsure, I remember this. Mostly I remember the "do it anyway". Thanks for posting this, Simon, it is a great reminder to me to not be so concerned about others...circumstances are there for me to learn from, and not to impress others...so I'll do it anyway.

[Simon]

Thank you for your comments, Sally. I like those words you have over your computer – I could do with them there myself.

I’ve had chance to chat with Sally about what she says here about speaking her truth to those who aren’t quite on her wavelength. She gave the example of not joining in when other people want a moaning session. That’s a lesson I need to learn myself, as it’s such an ingrained habit. At other times, though, I wonder about effective communication. If you’re trying to get something across to someone, isn’t it best to start from where they’re at, to use terms of reference that they recognise – at least as a starting point? Is it always possible to do that without compromising your own truth, I wonder? I suppose you just have to open your mouth and trust.

[Simon]

Alexys – Great to hear from you. Yes, the words are very simply expressed, aren’t they? It would be easy to weave a complex web of confusion around this subject – but here there is the simplicity of truth.

People – You only did what you were taught. As did your mother, as did the people in your country, as do people throughout the world. We all have a lot to unlearn – and a lot to remember. (Great to hear from you again - and thanks for the Stumble!)

Malcolm – I’m afraid I’ve been guilty of making such responses to people myself. They arise out of jealousy, of course. What we need is to stop making comparisons. They’re pointless. There’s always someone better and always someone worse – so why bother? The comparisons only cause us pain – which we then pass on to others.

[Simon]

Chase – I’m delighted it helped you to hear these words – and it’s great that you’re going to share them with your class. I hope they will help your students as they go through life…

‘Love in action’. Yes, you are right, Mark: unconditional love.

Lynda – Thanks for stopping by! It helps to remember that such attitudes are all to do with the other people – they’re nothing to do with us!

[Simon]

Merging point – Thanks for this. Indeed, it seems instinctively wrong to set out consciously to ‘do good’. That can easily lead to forcing unwanted assistance on people or thinking of yourself as a martyr – or a saint! It’s more a question of doing what seems to be the right and appropriate thing in any moment. On those occasions when I’ve been ‘in the zone’, this has seemed to come naturally, as though that which is to be done next is always right in front of me, awaiting my attention.

Sue Ann – I’m coming to realize how powerful it can be to make a simple shift in perspective. Instead of making my actions ‘all about me’ (to employ your useful phrase), something by which my standing in the world will rise or fall, I simply do what I’ve described above and do what seems to be the right and appropriate thing. Then my action becomes a service, an offering. I simply do it in the humble belief that this is what is to be done. And now that it’s suddenly not about me, a lot of emotional baggage - and blockages - fade away.

Marion – Your words echo this too. If we feel unsure, we should just get out of the way, and let this thing which ‘is not about me’ be done.

Thanks to you all for your comments - Happy Easter!

[AngelBaby]

I hope you don't mind if I copy Mother Teresa's words down. They are so beautiful and so true. Thank you for sharing this.

I just stopped by to wish you a Happy Easter.

Love and Blessings,
AngelBaby

[Liara Covert]

The idea of especially giving your best, no matter what, is a fundamental perspective that encourages us all to look beyond ego and the earthly things that hold us back from reconnecting with our inner essence. Its a valuable lesson to shift attention beyond external approval or disapproval, beyond our own self-criticism. As Mother Teresa reminds us, God is in charge of the final analysis. Intuition is your earthly guide for now. Learn to trust it.

[Sue Ann Edwards]

It's basically the difference between preaching and teaching. The preacher tries to cram it down everyone's throat and the teacher only focus' on those interested in learning, while ignoring(being unresponsive)the rest.

Unconditional love is our 1st step. And it's relatively easy compared to unconditional acceptance and unconditional tolerance which come next. Those are a bit *tougher* to maintain.

[Desiree]

That is indeed a beautiful poem Simon. Thanks for posting it!

[Simon]

Angel - You're more than welcome to copy these words! I'm sure that Mother Teresa would want us to share them with everyone who can benefit from them. Thanks for your good wishes!

Liara - To 'go beyond our own self-criticism', as you put it, is so important. All too often that's the biggest thing holding us back. Even when we get criticism from other people, it's up to us if we want to assign it importance. As you say, we need to learn to listen to our intuition, the still small voice which cuts through the sludge of ego (both our own and other people's).

Sue Ann - I've just completed (more or less) a series of posts about acceptance which I'll be posting in the next few days.

I'm interested that you distinguish between these various unconditionals. Tolerance has always struck me as kind of grudging acceptance. You think that they are substantially different? And don't we need to fully accept *before* we can unconditionally love? Can you really love that which you don't accept?

Desiree - It's great to hear from you again - I'm glad you liked these words.

Once again, I am very grateful for all your comments!

[Andy]

This reminds me of something a fellow traveller said to me recently: "what people think of you is none of your business"

[Surface Earth]

Wonderful. How refreshing a find today. Such complex principles/goals (I do not have the right word) whittled down have such simple strength and direction.

[Simon]

Hi Andy - It's always great to hear from you on your travels. "What people think of you is none of your business" - I like that! You could also put it another way: "What people think of you is nothing to do with you." That way it has two meanings...

Surface Earth - Welcome to my blog. Thanks for dropping by! Yes, they're wonderful words, aren't they? It's so refreshing to see simplicity cutting like a razor through to the truth.