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October 20, 2008

Comments

Harmony/Goldenzen

Thanks for your gracious link. And thanks for this: "All you have to do is to ask yourself if there's anything you can do about the problem. If there's no action you can take, that's it. Put it out of your mind. Worrying won't serve any purpose."

Worry is only a tool when the moment we realize it is in motion we ask...can I do anything about this. If so...move. If not, release.

Thanks Simon. Your posts hit us where we live. Thanks for the great post you offered at Goldenzen.

Liara Covert

You echo the kind of wisdom that only emerges from life experience. Your readers value your reflections and references to people like Eckhart Tolle who offer their own perspectives. I have known "worriers." The reason I have come to recognize the energy of these people nad others is because I used to resonate these frequencies myself and learned to move beyond it. Awareness intensifies through experience. In my view, the truth is socmething felt. You evolve to understand feelings on levels that defy description in forms available to humans.

Miruh

Hi Simon.

This is a very comprehensive post on how to kick the worry habit.

Re:We're very good at working things out on auto-pilot... as long as we don't allow worry to get in the way.

Isn't it ironical how worry prevents us from having clarity on how to deal with our problems.
Somehow we have learned that worrying is useful! Thanks for the tips.

Cheers,
Miruh

Alexys Fairfield

Hi Simon,
Worrying is one of those unnecessary processes that never gets us anywhere. When we worry, we actually make whatever it is seem bigger.

I like the fact that you mentioned we "have a duty not to worry."

That phrase itself lifts any burden one may have. Thanks. :D

Kim Wencl

Hello Fellow Blogger! When I read your post for 10/20, I had to smile, because I do the same thing each day on my own blog. And, I'm always searching for other like-minded bloggers ... I think you may be one of them! Yah!!

If you want to know more about me, check out my blog, Love Lives On ... also I read your post about Phil Bolsta and his wonderful new book. Check out Phil's post for yesterday (10/20) http://bolstablog.wordpress.com

Sally

Brilliant post Simon and Eckhart is completely right.......all worry is simply mind stuff and a waste of energy. I smile when I remember a quote I put on my website (www.peacenowhere.com) by Montaigne which says "My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes,most of which never happened!" Sort of sums up worry somehow!

gypsy-heart

Wise words again, Simon. I needed to be reminded of this.

I am a re-formed worrier..though at times, I do fall off the wagon. It started in childhood after my parents divorced. My Father used to say I "worried about not having anything to worry about"..and he was right. :O

Next I started thinking of the worst case scenario in whatever I was worrying about. It almost seemed to release me from my often over thinking mind.

Now I am trying not to worry at all..no scenarios, just do my best and let it all unfold as it will. I agree with everyone..it is mind stuff and a waste of energy!

The Power of Now..changed my life. :)
Thank you for this post.

Beth Partin

I find that the best antidote for worrying is to gently bring myself back to what's happening right now. And to take a deep breath.

I find it very hard to get rid of worry permanently, but I do think interrupting it is useful too.

Indranee

Hi Simon, these are really the words of wisdom and so very true...keep up the good work!

Simon

Hi Harmony: “Worry is only a tool.” Thanks for that! It’s a great way of looking at it, and one that hadn’t occurred to me. So worry is a tool and the mind is a tool. It’s only when they take over that there’s a problem.

Simon

Liara – Thanks for your kind words. As you deduce so perceptively, this post is indeed rooted in experience! I was – and sometimes still am – a worrier, but the knowledge that it serves no purpose is a powerful incentive to change.

You say: “the truth is something felt”. I agree absolutely. Our minds can guide us towards the truth, but only when we feel it deep inside can we know we’ve arrived.

Simon

Miruh – Welcome to my blog! You are quite right to point out that worry impedes clarity. That’s another great reason for not doing it!

Yes, thank you, I think this (combined with the other post, Making Plans, that I mentioned) are quite a comprehensive guide to kicking the worry habit, but there’s another level I haven’t mentioned. The ultimate way to kick the habit is to lose attachment to things: people, material goods, outcomes... If you have no fear of losing these things, then worry becomes redundant.

But this is advanced stuff, of course. If you can really get rid of all attachments, then – ironically – you have the universe in the palm of your hand.

Simon

Hi Alexys – Thanks for your comment. Yes, you are right, worry makes the thing seem bigger. More than that, it makes it seem *real* – and a lot of the time, it isn’t really. A lot of the time, the object of our worry is a only a fantasy.

“We have a duty not to worry”. Yes, that’s a very powerful phrase, isn’t it? And the great thing is, it’s true!

Simon

Hi Kim – Welcome – it’s nice to hear from you! Yes, looking at Stats can be interesting, can it? And also addictive…

I’ll take a look at your blog – and also the post by Phil that you mention. Thanks for calling.

Simon

Thanks for your comment, Sally. Yes, that’s a great quote – and I’ve a confession to make. I stole that quote and have used it in the ‘favorite quotes’ list in my sidebar. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

Another reader, Linda, has emailed me another, similar quote, which I remember from my childhood: “95% of what you worry about never comes true anyway!” I remember that being quoted quite a lot, though I don’t remember people acting on it very much!

Simon

Hi gypsy-heart. Thanks for your comment! I’m glad that Eckhart’s teaching has helped you! As I mentioned above, I too have been a worrier – it runs in my family. “Worrying about not having anything to worry about” reminds me of my Dad. One time, when he was going through a rare trouble-free patch in his life, he seized on a slight squeak on his hi-fi cassette player. That's the only problem he could find at the time. We had to listen to it at regular intervals and tell him whether we thought it was getting better or worse. Eventually, of course, he replaced the player. But by that time, some new imagined ‘disaster’ was looming on the horizon…

Simon

Thanks for that tip, Beth! Yes, I think you are right. Interrupting worry can disrupt its momentum. I think that a good way to do this is to spend some time with friends. Afterwards, we can often see things in a different, less threatening perspective.

Coming back to what’s happening now, as you suggest, can also be helpful. I’ve been writing on Harmony’s blog about how to stop thinking by coming into the moment – and of course, worrying is just a particularly pernicious form of thinking.

Simon

Hi Indranee! Welcome to my blog – and thanks for your kind words! I just tried to visit your blog but the link doesn't go anywhere. Is your blog not up yet or did you get the address wrong? If you return here, please leave a working link and I'll come and see you...

Evelyn Lim

I came over from Harmony's blog. I have been reading Eckhart Tolle's books too. Previously, I find myself so overwhelmed with worry. Sometimes, I felt completely paralyzed into inaction. Then I started to realize that worry does not serve a purpose. It does not help bring about a solution. It is best to focus on more positive things!

Robin

ha ha I like that - "You have a duty NOT to worry" Nice article!

I have some amusing searches - I've finally realised many of them might be song lyrics they are looking for.

Sally

I find that if ever a string of worrying thoughts appear in my mind (particularly late at night as used to be the case with me) I use a technique that Eckhart teaches. Just ask yourself this question....."I wonder what my next thought will be?"......then see what happens! Just creating a gap in the mindstream is an awesome practice and works for me every time!

Simon

Hi Evelyn - Welcome to my blog! Yes, as Miruh also observed, worry actually gets in the way of finding a solution. It is totally counter-productive, except perhaps (re Harmony's comment) as a short-term tool to kick us into action. So if we're ever worrying, we really should be doing something else, either a) taking action, b) designating a time at which to plan what action to take or c) realizing that there's no action we can take and so getting on with the rest of our lives. In all these cases, it makes no sense whatsoever to carry on worrying!

Simon

Hi Robin - It's always good to hear from you! It sounds like you might get a lot of Oasis fans at your blog...

Simon

Thanks Sally! You taught me that one at your last workshop and, as it happens, I used it in the post 'Stop Thinking' which I did for Harmony's blog. I can see that it might come in useful late at night: a modern advance on the classic sheep-counting strategy. (I love your phrase 'creating a gap in the mindstream'!)

Pam

I used a technique today that (a) stopped me worrying, and (b) solved the problem I was worrying about. If you'll forgive me for posting a rather long comment, I'd like to write about it here.

On Saturday I learned a form of mantra meditation that I'm supposed to do twice a day. I only did it once yesterday, and I hadn't done it at all this morning because I'd chosen to do a bunch of other things first. One of those things was boiling the kettle for a cup of coffee, and for some reason that tripped a fuse. No problem: I flipped up the switch on the fuse box, a number of electrical devices flicked back into life, and I decided to boil my hot water in a saucepan instead.

After breakfast I decided to try boiling the kettle again, for no apparent reason. The fuse tripped again (I wonder why?), but this time the fuse box switch would not flip back up. Among other things, my fridge and freezer were not working, which would mean the ruin of food that I can't afford to replace, and my boiler was not working, which would mean no heating or hot water until I could get it fixed, and I don't know any electricians that might come out in an emergency, and I have to go out and teach an evening class tonight, and so on, and so forth. Worry, worry, worry.

For some reason I chose that moment to go upstairs and do my meditation. While I was sitting there, my mantra jostling for position amongst the usual stream of thoughts, a sense of calm came over me. Instead of random new thoughts bubbling up over the mantra/stream of consciousness combo, every so often a potential new solution would pop into my head. The name of a person I could call. Then another. The idea to check that the kettle was properly switched off before trying to flip the switch on the fuse box....

I must have been sitting for about ten minutes when that last idea arrived. At that point I got up, switched the kettle off properly, and flipped the fuse box switch again - this time, successfully. Crisis averted!

I'm not sure this is the correct way to do the meditation I was taught, but it was certainly an effective way of getting my worries under control. Without having stopped to do my meditation, who knows but that I could still be sitting at home worrying, calling goodness knows how many emergency electricians, and so forth.

Marion

Super post, Simon, as always. And another excellent one on Harmony's site...thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Until I am ready to quit worrying about a person, place or thing, I won't be able to. I have noticed lately, however, the need to worry has dropped.Drastically, in fact!

I think I've finally learned to 'turn it over'.

Sue Ann Edwards

Hi Simon!

One of the things I like and find attractive about Eckhart Tolle is that he doesn't claim to be "channeling" someone *else*. He claims his own Voice.

When it comes to "worry", I wouldn't exactly agree on it being "worthless". It is of considerable Value to us if we Love "drama" and "misery".

For ~energy~ follows thought. Especially if that thought is fed repeatedly and consistently. Kinda' like a baby upon conception. The idea gathers ~energy~ of being fed by our concentration over time until it is birthed into creation for us to experience.

~Worry~ is a cause.

And having to face in experience whatever we were ~worrying~ about, is the effect.

So what maybe "important" about ~worrying~ is realizing our responsibility and accountability for what we are choosing to call into our lives, through the activity of the Law of Attraction.

Maybe it's beginning to "hit home" what I have been endeavoring to share, that we need not fear or worry about any ~crisis~, when we *know* that we have within us, what ever strength and power we need to respond to that crisis.

Duty? I don't EVEN like the word.

I AM Responsible and Accountable for how I use the energy of my life in calling forth the creation of my own reality.

Period.

And our ignorance when it comes to each and every one of us also being Responsible and Accountable, is what we're going to be working on over the next 23 years.

Imagine a lump of ore. Now imagine that lump of ore made into a silver chalice. 1st we have to extract the silver and discard the rest. We're going to have to heat the silver, pound the silver, quench it, heat it some more, pound on it some more, and quench it some more. Over and over and over until we have our silver chalice.

Now apply that understanding, to our inner levels, associating "strength" with the word "Virtue".

The cracks in our structures of supposed "authority" are already showing. The areas of focused impact will be our governments, economies, business and banking. And the issues will be those of ethics, integrity, accountability and responsibility.

It's science fiction when robots take over..."The Terminator". And I *know* science fiction is your forte. Ever thought about writing a story about a robot named "Corporation"? Whose ONLY programming consisted of stating it had one purpose and one purpose ONLY? To make a "Profit"?

Maybe our local and state 'authorities' would be ~wise~ to adjust the requirements for extending corporate status? Since it is a PRIVILEGE extended in the NAME of the People? And REQUIRE said "corporations" to pursue their "profit" in ways that are beneficial and aligned with the general welfare? As in, not at the public's expense and risk?

Simon

Hi Pam - Your comment fits in nicely with what I said about us working things out on auto-pilot. My experience is that sleep helps with this (as in "I'll sleep on it...") but meditation seems to be even more effective. I often find that revelations come at such a time.

I'm glad you've found a form of meditation which works for you, as I know you've had difficulty with this in the past.

(In case people are interested, Pam studied meditation through the School of Philosophy, which I've previously posted about here:
http://secretoflife.typepad.com/the_secret_of_life/2007/04/practical_philo.html
Tuition takes place at the School of Meditation:
http://www.schoolofmeditation.org/
My understanding is that this form of meditation is identical to transcendental meditation or TM.)

Simon

Thanks for your kind comment, Marion. You're right that worrying can be hard to shake off, even when we've realized it's pointless. The only way to *really* ensure that we're worry-free is to shake off our attachment to things going well all the time. If we simply accept whatever is, then worrying fades away automatically. Perhaps that is what is starting to happen with you.

Simon

Hi Sue Ann - Yes, thanks for pointing out the implications of worrying for the law of attraction. The fact that we actually tend to *attract* what we worry is another excellent reason for giving it up!

I understand what you say about 'duty'. It's not exactly a self-empowering concept! What I was trying to do in the post was to simply accept that some of us *do* have feelings of duty and turn them round so that they serve us instead of working against us: to feel a duty *not* to worry instead of the opposite. But I accept that this is only a mid-way stage to *really* giving up worrying. Ultimately, we have to learn to accept what is.

Requiring the banks 'to pursue their "profit" in ways that are beneficial and aligned with the general welfare' is a great idea - and exactly what the government here in Britain tried to do when it bailed them out a few weeks ago. There were various restrictions to the bonuses they could pay and requirements to offer the level of borrowing our economy needs to rebuild. The trouble is that it looks like it's going to be hard to enforce in practice. The banks are already finding loopholes in the small print.

Sue Ann Edwards

Smiling...

In business law it is known as "unconscionable" or "inconscionable". It is when a party to a contract takes advantage of the other party's ignorance, including lack of education and experience in dealing with business issues at the level being conducted. Which is what has been done to "John Q. Public" in relation to lending practices and building an economy itself based on credit spending.

It hasn't been ~wise~ to create "entities" with no Souls, no humanitarian conscience. With no accountability or responsibility for the "entity's" choices and consequences of those choices.

I Am Accountable to my Self. And I Am Responsible to my Self. The Self whose Voice speaks through my Heart. That Voice, is the voice of Spiritual Sovereignty in all our lives.

Our *habits* are *hard* to break and ~worrying~ is one of them. But the only we we can *break* a habit, is to substitute a new one in its place. We replace one pattern with another, which can only be done when in the middle on experiencing the old pattern. Consciously, or else, it is not integrated in understanding.

In accepting what ~worry~ Is, we *know* right away, it is a tone of *fear*. Identifying this tone of *fear* IMMEDIATELY lets us *know*

NOT TO LISTEN TO IT and NOT TO BELIEVE ONE WORD OF IT. "Get thee behind me Satan".

Like this: "I AM asking to see the Love in this experience."

Before we had watches, we used sundials. The way sundials worked is that any time it wasn't high noon, anytime the dial wasn't in exact alignment with the rays of light from the sun, the length and direction of the shadow, indicated the time.

...

Anytime we imagine we see shadows, as when our feelings are those of a tone of *fear*, then whatever the reality we've got going on inside our heads, is not ALIGNED or INTEGRATED with Spiritual Realities or the "Greater Reality".

Creating a Reality that IS aligned and integrated with Spiritual Realities or the Greater Reality is WHAT "Oneness" is ALL ABOUT.

Before I can live a Reality of "Oneness" with you or anyone else, I have to have realized that "Oneness" myself for myself.

And that is why so much inspiration and motivation to look within, rather then outside of ourselves for solutions, is what is happening to all of us. So we will begin to establish this inner connectedness, this "oneness" of Personality and Spirit.

Doors and windows closing for us on the outside, is ALWAYS a creation of our Soul's desire to connect with Us.

Simon

"I AM asking to see the Love in this experience."

Thanks, Sue Ann. I'll remember that.

How can live

Simon

Hi Anonymous - Your comment concerns me but I can't really be sure what question you're asking or where you're coming from here. I think the best advice I can give is to read Eckhart Tolle's book 'Practicing The Power Of Now'. It's a very practical, short book which will help you to understand the reason for any pain you may be suffering and how to take steps to deal with it: to live your life in an entirely different way. You can get it from your local branch of the online store Amazon. Do give it a try. Love and blessings to you - Simon

Joey

sweet post

Simon

Thanks, Joey - good to hear from you!

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  • "The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone like us to come along - people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It is overwhelming to consider the numerous opportunities there are to make our love felt." - Leo Bascaglia
  • "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill
  • "My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." - Michel de Montaigne
  • "Take any fear. Call it out. Actually make an appointment: I'll meet you face to face to get this settled once and for all at 'such-n-such' time. Tell it you'll even meet it in its own space: a dark room. And you'll find nothing will ever come to meet you..." - Sue Ann Edwards
  • "Your mind is the interference to experiencing the bliss of this moment." - Dr Joe Vitale
  • "A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive." - Albert Einstein

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