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February 06, 2009



Hello Simon,

For me, these words are the quintessential teaching for succeeding in having equanimity of mind: "Be OK with what is, however you are feeling, whatever is going on, and you have taken the most important step towards freedom."

I think that anyone who has been on the spiritual path for a long time will tell you that your experience is the reality of it. It takes constant practice, vigilance and self-compassion.

When I read some new age platitudes, I feel it is such a disservice to people who are starting out and makes them think of themselves as failures.

Thanks for writing with honesty and love!


Hi Simon - Just been sending you a long looooong reply to your new post and guess what ?? The computer crashed meaning all my words disappeared! Sure a message in there for me.

Basically I was saying I like the word equanimity as it reminds me of Krishnamurti's words when he shared his secret with a gathering. He said "I don't mind what happens." And Eckhart said: "accept each moment as if you had chosen it.” An evenness of mind.

I have had two examples of equanimity occurring and they were both examples of dealing with something which could have been stressful and feeling a certain amount of emotion without being drawn into any drama about it. The first was at the funeral of a friend and the second was when my father had a heart attack last year. Funnily enough in some ways it felt very comfortable and natural and got me and other family members through it in a much gentler way than is the norm. Shame it was a little harder to feel that same evenness of mind at Sainsbury's this morning when it seemed the whole of Leeds had come out of hibernation to panic buy before the next fall of snow!

A thought came to me just before the computer crashed that the idea of Eckhart being compatible with The Secret lies within this idea. When we accept what is we lose the needing and wanting for it to be any different than the way it is. We know with the Secret that it doesn't work if you think like that. “I want more money" means that I will want more money. Acceptance raises our vibration.

My message for the day on my ‘Ask and it is Given’ perpetual calendar is that very same message.

"If there is something you desire that you currently do not have, you need only put your attention upon it and by the Law of Attraction, it will come to you. However, if there is something that you desire that you currently do not have and you put your attention upon your current state of not -having- it, then the Law of Attraction will continue to match that not-having-it vibration, so you will continue to not have that which you desire. It is Law."


Many thanks for your encouragement Miruh. People do seem to have different experiences of the spiritual path, so it's nice to know that this resonates with your own experience. It seems to me that what we are doing is searching for the ultimate (or optimum) way of being and that this will necessarily encompass darkness well as light. We need to reach a stage where we are OK about that. If all we wanted was sweetness and light all the time, then why bother with physical incarnation in the first place?


Hi Sally - Sorry about the problem you had, though I'm relieved that it was your own computer rather than Typepad for a change. Interesting though, wasn't it? There you were writing about 'equanimity' and whizz-bang, straight away you get to test it out!

The same thing's happened to me today. It's kind of reassuring really to know that the universe or my higher self (or whoever is running this show) reads my blog. There I am writing that I'm OK with difficult emotions so the universe says 'right then - here's some more of them - see how you cope with these!'

So I wrote this post yesterday and today I have this really deep sadness welling up inside me. It's been there in the background for much of the day. So I've been telling myself it's OK, and when it hasn't been, I've been telling myself it's OK that it's not OK. (Acceptance is always possible. It's just sometimes a few layers down...)

So today I have had if not always equanimity, then at least no raging against the way I have felt. And in between there have been moments of pure joy: driving through a landscape covered in sun-kissed snow, for instance. To Sainsbury's, as it happens, Sally. It was busy this afternoon too! But that was OK as well. And I was able to reflect that light is at its most beautiful when it's breaking through clouds...

Thanks for the quote from your calendar. It's not an easy concept to understand, about losing attachment, but that puts it very clearly.

Many thanks for your contribution, Sally!

Sue Ann Edwards

"Bravo Simon! Bravo!

*NOW* you're back to looking WITHIN again. It is only when we have surrendered our Power over our inner realms, that we are the least bit interested in having any power over what is happening outside of us.

"Equanimity", "even-ness of mind"...simply implies POWER of flexibility, adaptability and versatility of mind and emotions. And it is in Recognition and Realization of these inherent abilities and qualities within us, that makes a Master, a Master.

I've been muttering for decades over what I have seen as lame attempts to share understanding of the law of attraction. For the Power of Creative Will that activates it is NOT our conscious mind. It doesn't matter what we think nor how hard and often we think it.

It is our SUBconscious that is directing the activation of the Law of Attraction. It is in our SUBconscious that we find the programs that are running or ruining, (as the case may be) our lives.

I'll use one of your examples, that of a new car. TRUE, we can want all we choose and forever remain wanting. If we are seeking to truly *know* ourselves, intimately, we look deeper.

What am I imagining this new car is going to do for me? How am I imagining this new car is going to make me feel?

And the answer we're going to get most of the time, is that the new car is going to make us feel some emotion, that we feel we lack, or find ourselves "wanting in". It is an EMOTIONAL experience we feel we are lacking in, such as, self respect, self worth or self esteem. We don't feel "attractive", so we seek a placebo, a physical thing, to make up for this lack.

This is also how we come to create our emotional attachments. Because these *things* have been related to our FEELINGS of "worthiness" and "acceptability".

~Been there, done that.~

Now I don't even own a car. *Transportation* is what is of Value, to me, not ownership. When I desire a ride, one ALWAYS shows up. Like I tell my daughter, "You don't desire to own a horse; you desire a friend that owns a horse."

I'll ride public transportation anytime because I don't really LIKE driving. But a LOT of us have "control issues" and "self image issues", that would make NOT owning a car, something to be feared and anticipated with anxiety.

Ask ourselves "Why?" we desire what we do and we'll find the EMOTIONAL experience that we find ourselves wanting (or lacking)in. Then the Soul-u-tion becomes simple:

"I AM Balance." "I AM Harmony." "I AM Stability." "I AM Lovable."

Our Soul/Spirit Recognition and Realization first comes in fleeting glimpses. I call the process of Enlightenment one of a trampoline like effect.

A doorway opens and we feel light,uplifted, everything rainbows. This is the 'jumping UP on a trampoline' effect. Spiritual Light streams into our inner reality.

And the next thing we know, we're feeling lower than a toad, wondering what happened to all our rainbows. Self Recriminations usually start about right *here* that we've somehow unknowingly done something *wrong*. And this is not so.

If something very *right* hadn't happened, if we just hadn't received a "spiritual infusion of Light", we wouldn't be facing any of our 'darkness'. It's our 'darkness' coming out, that is the downside of our trampoline jump. When we come down and hit the surface of the trampoline and make an impression, actually going lower then before we jumped.

What happens next?

On our next leap, we find ourselves going higher then before, more uplifted, more rainbows. Then we come 'down' again. Up and down, up and down, just like jumping on a trampoline.

Spiritual Light (quantum energy packets) has an effect like Roto Rooter. It comes in and knocks out clogs in our pipes. The clogs come out and are *icky* but the end result is our pipes flowing freely.

Using the symbols of 'chakras' or little vortexes of energy resembling fans, a Spiritual infusion makes the fan blades spin faster and dust motes fly off the blades of the fan.

All "Darkness" IS, are all our feelings that we haven't ever accepted and embraced as being "OK". And there's no telling WHAT lifetime these feelings will be coming up from. The importance is as you say.

To embrace them. So we can then live free of the fear of them.

Without the fear, our subconscious will no longer be attracting such experiences into our lives, (the law of attraction), via the Law of Correspondences (the outside is a reflection of the inside).

"Fear of something" begets "facing that something" into creation.

In order to BE "One With All That Is", we have to embrace and identify with, all we seek to negate and deny. The sooner we embrace 'it', the sooner we don't have to look at 'it' upon the world stage.

I've got a funny story to share...about 'abundance' and holding onto it. Hiding something away for a "rainy day" always ensures that 'rainy day' will come. A friend of mine hid a few hundred dollars then forgot where he hid it. Until he went duck hunting and saw all the green snow coming out of his shotgun."

Our *dilemma* is stemming from the fact that I *know* a lot that you don't *know* you know. I'm grinning while I set off "buttons" you aren't aware you have. Until I set them off. Those 'buttons' are like triggers, inner triggers and what with the way we've all be programmed, setting off these inner triggers is what qualifies as a "nono", "mean", "evil", "bad", etc. So I gladly wear whatever label, in order to achieve a desired effect. One *YOU* asked for and desired in the confines of your own heart.

Sometimes when I haven't had a chance to clean my kitchen as I like, I won't even turn the lights on. Bill, not liking to see me working in the dark, will come and flip on the lights. And I will get a good look at what needs my attention.

What I "see" right now, is that your awareness is bumping up next to an invisible bubble of sorts. You *know* it's there. You can sense its expansiveness and have had a peek from this level of awareness now and then. But lost it. And it's like there is a thin membrane of resistance, blocking your total access to it. This is your Soul Awareness coming in and integrating with your conscious awareness. Another set of eyes besides your physical ones, that sees into other dimensions beside this physical one.

You're right there, at that bubble. You're making a quantum shift. And it's going to change the way you look at reality because you're going to be able to see so much more of it. It's like going from seeing the tip of an ice berg, to seeing it's only the tip of a iceberg.

I see "the brick wall" you're standing in front of and trying to go around. Since you've tried that several times before and ended up right back at the same wall as before, I guide to try something *new*. Walk right through it. It is only a creation of your imagination and it rests upon one very *important* Denial. It's the brick wall than none of us can get around.

It's the issue of Sovereignty. Equanimity is of Spirit. We are each an "I Am" and are equal in Creative Powers and Heritages.

What isn't/hasn't sunken in is that what appears to be "outside" of us, isn't at all. It's an accurate reflection, a mirror image, of what is INSIDE of us. The Law of Attraction works through CORRESPONDING RESONANCE.

Is this "caring for each other" based upon FEAR and perceptions of victimization? Is it based upon what a person does for us, how they satisfy our emotional needs? For if the answer to any of my questions is "yes", then it's not about "love" nor the other person.


Hmmm...what actually is this Law of Attraction? Calling it a Law seems to me to give it a quasi-scientific flavour i.e. that it actually exists and can be proven to exist, like the Law of Gravity. It doesn't and it can't. It's another example of this mystical, magical thinking that allows us to go around thinking that everything will be all right, a 'make it so' mentality. 'Acceptance' is a bit the same. These are quasi-truths which allow us to ignore real truths much too painful to contemplate e.g. that much of the world's population lives in abject poverty, without adequate food or shelter,in Britain alone, 1 in 3 children lives in poverty; that this poverty exists in spite of the abundance of this planet, the poverty is in fact man-made; that a few people have appropriated to themselves vast wealth which they can never use, depriving others; that countless animals are treated cruelly usually in the name of profit etc. etc. etc. However, if we can go around thinking we can mystically 'attract' to ourselves the good things, whilst 'accepting' the bad things, then it gives us a sort of cocoon in which to live out our immensely privileged lives in the West.

Sue Ann Edwards

{{joanne}} Yes, it can and has been proved. It's called Quantum Physics. Simply speaking, a "negative" magnetic field ONLY attracts "negative" poles, while a "positive" magnetic field ONLY attracts "positive" poles.

Be*ware* victim perspectives, for they are direct in denial of accountability and responsibility for the use of Creative (free) will. And when I say "accountability and responsibility", I am saying claiming EVERY single idea that is in our minds, the way in which those ideas are related together, and the resultant emotional experiences we feel as a result of entertaining those ideas arranged in that particular way.

Many of us have been taught to be self indulgent when it comes to our feelings, emoting all over the place, expressing Judgments, recriminations, etc., revealing LACKS in substance and quality of character, then blaming these feelings on something or someone outside of our own hypothalumus and its peptide production. This habit pattern of Denial is what promotes and maintains our addictions to drama, fear, guilt and victimization.

randy bragg

Hello fellow blogger, I stopped by your site and thought maybe you would like to swap links with me, after adding http://voiceofbragg.com with the title "Blog Till Death" to your site, message me and I will add yours...have a great day


We should be vigilant for semantics here. Acceptance always depends on purpose. When I "accept" the seeming bad with the seeming good, I'm just reinforcing the differences (judgment) in my mind. I’m trying to compromise with the world to make it work.

The key to peace of mind is to no longer “accept” my judgment as reality. What I “accept” is that my judgment no longer brings me peace, and I accept that attempting to solve the problem where it isn’t simply keeps me prisoner to it.

The “law of attraction” isn’t a law; it is a wish. It is a wish that our judgment be real and that it have real effects. Neither is true. There is no difference between attracting the car and not attracting the car. They have the same purpose in our mind.

Real freedom comes when we are no longer willing to lie to ourselves anymore– no longer willing to try to make the world work based on what we think it is for – no longer willing to seek truth within a world made as a defense against truth.

Bring your world to truth rather than trying to pull truth into your world. Let truth remind you of reality rather than letting your seeming reality tell you what is true…

Simon, thought proving post as usual. Thanks for sharing your journey.


Hi Sue Ann - Thanks for the long comment you left, which I find very useful. The ups and downs I was experiencing yesterday (and described in my response to Sally) were very much like the trampoline you mention. The only thing I'm not at all clear about are the final four paragraphs. Can you expand on those please? (I'm pretty baffled by the comment that Dave just left as well - and the two seem to be related?)


We in the West have that 'cocoon' mentality anyway, Joanne, regardless of anything I might say. But thanks for your comment. These are complex matters so it’s not always possible to dot every ‘i’ and cross every ‘t’ in the space of a single post. I think that’s especially true of this particular post. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify a few things.

‘The law of attraction’: I don’t particularly like that phrase myself, but it’s what people generally call it these days, which is why I describe it that way. As you say, the phrase could be seen to give it ‘quasi-scientific’ weight, which it doesn’t have. Indeed the book version of the ‘The Secret’ claims that it’s proven by quantum physics, which it patently isn’t. ((I wrote this before reading Sue Ann’s comment. I’m always wary of disagreeing with her, but it won’t be the first time…))

What I will say is that when you consider the full implications of quantum physics, which is that there is no such thing as solid matter and all that exists is a field of energy, the idea that the waves we generate may affect the field around us may no longer seem so ridiculous. Quantum physics doesn’t ‘prove’ the ‘law of attraction’, but the two are not incompatible. You may be interested in my previous post, ‘The Nature of the Universe’: http://secretoflife.typepad.com/the_secret_of_life/2006/11/in_previous_pos.html

As for acceptance, please understand that although I suggest we accept what is in this moment, that certainly doesn’t preclude taking action to change what we wish in the future. I am counseling realism, not apathy. The point is: things are the way they are in this moment, whether we like it or not. Not to accept that is to start an argument with reality, which is not something we’re ever going to win. To engage in that argument is madness, yet it’s something we do all the time. It doesn’t change the things we don’t like. It just makes us very upset. You might argue that this upset gets channeled into changing things for the better, but most of the time that doesn’t happen. People just moan a lot and the emotions are added to the growing pile of perceived injustices which is weighing down humanity.

Some of us would argue that these emotions inside us help to bring the violent world around us into being. It isn’t ‘proven’ but there is no shortage of empirical evidence for it. But even if you don’t accept that, you can look at any ‘trouble spot’ anywhere in the world and see the violence caused by righteous anger at previous violent injustice. People will always come up with very good reasons why they have killed other people: explanations rooted in the endless cycle of emotion.

I look around at the world the same as you do, Joanne, and wonder how we can possibly fix it. The truth is that I don’t think we possibly *can* with our present mentality. I’m not saying we should stop trying – you may notice I’ve had a few ‘discussions’ with Sue Ann about this! – but I don’t honestly think we’re going to get anywhere going on as we are. As Einstein put it: “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.” I honestly think we have to do that and I think it is possible, but it has to start with fixing ourselves. What I am trying to do with this blog is to give some pointers as to how we can work to achieve this vital transition.


Wow, Dave, thanks for your comment. I'm still trying to work it out. I'll get back to you...

Liara Covert

Simon, your post points out the behaviour of many people undermines what they believe they want. To desire assumes do not have and human beings are supposed to have all they need already. Some people convince themselves the whole process of learning is a vicious circle. If you desire to learn, that assumes you do not already know enough. On some level, you have not raised awareness to realize bring your self-knowledge to the surface. It is the gradual removing of the veils you have created that is necessary to see you have always known and had and felt everything to be fulfilled. People forget. Your post invites people to begin to awaken differently.


So true, we need our emotions to keep us on track they are our steering wheel. If we pay attention to what we are feeling then we know if we are doing the right thing. If it feels good then it is right if it feels bad it is not the right thing for us. So by paying attention to them we can guide ourselves to the freedom of joy and the flow of the universe which is what we all want. Feelings are energy in motion so that is why we need them to keep us in motion and going in the right direction.

Love and Blessings,

Dan Seeking...

My whole life I've been told to go in the direction that feels true to myself. My mum has been trying to pass down the spiritual truths that have resignated within her. I have done nothing but resist in every aspect of my life, I have no idea what feels true to me and am completely lost.

I'm having trouble finding the words; Ever since I was a young boy I felt like this economically driven world has no place for me and I want to do something meaningful with my life but don't know where to begin. I am that hard on myself that I put the weight of this world on my shoulders! I feel like I've resisted so much that my body is physically rejecting the decisions that I have made. I don't really know if I am making sense or if this is the right place to air my feelings 'cause all of you have posted such beautiful and positive comments so I am sorry for bringing this thread down. I am consumed with anger for myself that I have programmed in my head for the last 30 years and I really WANT to change but I guess all that wanting has just materialised me wanting more? I am really lost at this time in my life and have no idea in which direction to go, how do I get rid of all the negative energy that grows inside me?

I'd like to think that I am in touch with my feelings, I wear my heart on my sleve and I know when something feels bad I should stop but its like I loathe myself so much that I just keep doing all the things that hurt me/others and I resist anything that I enjoy to the level that it seems as if I enjoy hurting myself/others.

Reading your comment about the garden in which the struggle stops and you are at peace with the universe sent shivers up my spine, I would really love to experience something like that whilst I am still here on this world.

Is what I have written acceptable here? It seems like everyone I talk to about how I feel doesn't get it, or that could just be me resisting the world again?

Best wishes to you all,
Dan :)


Hi again, Dave – I still don’t fully understand what you’re saying, I’m afraid, but one thing I get from reading your comment is that acceptance does not equate with being non-judgmental. This is interesting. As you say, it is difficult (though perhaps not impossible?) to accept without judging what we are accepting. If we do not judge in the first place, however, no acceptance is necessary. Everything simply Is. Thanks for your comment!


Thanks for your comment, Liara. It seems to me that we are brought up to come from a perspective of ‘not having’. We have to unlearn this before we can tune in to the abundance of the universe.


Hi Angelbaby – Thanks for calling! I agree that emotions are useful, but how reliable are they? If we are motivated by fear, for instance, are we necessarily making the right decision?


Hi Dan – What you have written is perfectly ‘acceptable’ and you are certainly not ‘bringing this down’ in any way. I intend the principal focus of this blog to be practical rather than theoretical, so your sort of real experience is exactly what interests me.

I can really relate to the kind of difficult emotions you are experiencing. My main interest has always been writing and a few years ago I got it together to write several novels which I thought were good but I couldn’t find a publisher for any of them. I ended up with a feeling of hopelessness, feeling that writing was what I was ‘supposed’ to do in life yet unable to see how I was going to find an audience. This feeling effectively blocked any further attempts at either writing or getting published. I felt I had failed in my life’s purpose.

Then, a few months ago, I realized that this so-called ‘life’s purpose’ wasn’t anything that God or anyone else had placed upon me. I had imposed it upon myself. It was like a great weight I had hung around my neck. Once I had realized this, I was able to lift it. The muscles around my shoulders physically relaxed. I was free! Now, for the first time in years, I am able to contemplate going back to writing fiction again.

So it may be with you and your ‘life’s direction’. The idea that we all have some great purpose in life which we have to find is an appealing one – and it is certainly better than just going into whatever job earns the most money! – but it can also be a great burden to us. And the truth is that the concept is manmade. It is entirely artificial. We don’t have to buy into it if we don’t want to. We are human beings, not human ‘doings’! We are here to *experience*, and that experience doesn’t always have to be what we think of as ‘good’.

We seem to have got the idea that life is supposed to be hunky dory all the time but the truth is that it isn’t. I take the view that if light and fluffy was all we wanted, we wouldn’t have gone for earthly incarnation in the first place. We’d be up there in heaven, floating around on clouds.

So understand that that there is nothing you have to do or become. You can just be you, now, being the way you are. That is fine with you and it’s fine with the universe. You are perfect just as you are.

It may seem tough that what you are going through at the moment is painful, but if you could see your whole soul’s journey, I think you would realize that this is just a tiny part of it. There will have been other patches of darkness and patches of light as well, all of them a necessary part of your experience.

So give yourself a break by letting go of the idea that there is anything wrong with what you are going through. If you read this post again, you will see that your raging against it may be part of what’s keeping it locked in place. It is time to stop fighting: a) because what you are going through is what you are going through whether you like it or not, b) because it is fine in any case and c) because the sooner you stop fighting it, the sooner you’ll come through it.

My understanding is that we all have emotions like this inside us – some of us more than others! I have a whole great stinking pit of them – so do you, it seems. They’re emotions we’ve stored inside us because we’ve suppressed them in the past – some of them, I suspect, have come from previous lifetimes. We've got them and we keep developing more. You believe that you shouldn't be feeling the way you do - which only serves to stoke up more of the same emotions.

We have to fully accept and express these emotions - and so release them - if we’re to rediscover our connection to that place I mentioned where struggling ceases. I described all this in detail in a previous post which I think you will find worth reading: http://secretoflife.typepad.com/the_secret_of_life/2008/01/a-sun-filled-ro.html

Also, I compiled a roundup up various techniques for releasing emotions in this post: http://secretoflife.typepad.com/the_secret_of_life/2008/11/letting-go.html
Do give them a try.

Emotional Freedom Technique (which appears in that list) is a popular one worth trying. The one I use most often myself is Ho’oponopono. I’ll happily explain some more about how I use it if you are interested. It's a question of finding one - or maybe more than one - which works for you.

I hope that this makes sense and that these techniques offer a way ahead for you. The main thing is: go easy on yourself. And know that you are not alone. A lot of us have these difficult emotions of various kinds bubbling up. You only need to look at the state of the world to see that there’s so much of it around at the moment. It may be because we are all developing spiritually and these emotions have to come up as a part of this process. That is what I believe.

Take care of yourself, Dan – and get back to me if you would like to discuss some more!


Hi Simon - yes the universe is a very strange place. Mind-blowingly weird in fact. I have also been struck by the fact that Eastern philosophy/wisdom actually seems to be saying some of the same things that science is now saying e.g. everything is connected.

When I was heavily into this Eastern stuff a few years ago and really believed it, my life actually did flow much more smoothly. Some pieces of good fortune came my way without my having to try at all really. It was weird. Then I became disillusioned for various reasons and it's all gone. I can't get it back, the peace of mind, the ease. I need to try another route. I think it was the sheer novelty that opened my mind and I can't get that novelty back.

By the way, the book 'Vedantic Meditation' by David Frawley may help you to understand Dave's post. They seem to be saying similar things (I think!).

By the way, just to clarify, I'm not suggesting that you are in any way responsible for any 'cocoon mentality' which may exist.


Hi Joanne - Don't worry - I didn't think you really held me personally responsible for the consciousness of the West! I'd have to get a lot more of them reading my blog first...

That spiritual 'connection' is a slippery customer. As I suggested in this post, it seems to help not to try too hard to get it. But it's real enough and powerful enough if you can just work out how to turn the key in the lock, though I don't think we should *necessarily* connect it with material good fortune. As I suspect you realize, when you have the connection, such good fortune no longer seems so important.

Yes - do try another route. The writings of Eckhart Tolle and Deeksha energy transfer are two things which have helped me a lot, but people seem to respond to different things.

Thanks for the book recommendation and I wish you all the best! I hope we shall talk again.


Hi All - I'm just popping off for a few days away. I'll respond to any further comments when I return...


Very, very interesting..I am so glad I popped in tonight! I enjoyed reading this discussion very much. I plan to read some of the comments again when I can better ponder the words.

Maybe I am too simple minded or maybe it goes back to my escape from the cult..I am leery of anyone thinking they know the way. I usually try to not think about "it" ...I seem to find more peace that way. Somehow what I need always seems to appear. Like all the words I found here tonight. Often, it is not words at all that give me that "in the zone feeling" ...it can be something as simple as a flower. Such things speak volumes to me...as if the whole universe is contained within those petals. :)

Thank you for BEing, and I do hope you hear from Dan again...my heart goes out to him.

Good energies and peace of heart to you and all who come here.


Sorry my comment was confusing. You worked it out. I was simply suggesting that once we’ve judged something as good or bad that “accepting” them is just putting an exclamation point on them. “Accepting” that it is our judgment that is the cause of the seeming differences may be the first step toward accepting ourselves as we are and not the way we imagine ourselves to be.


Hi Simon - it wasn't material good fortune as such I was meaning, though possibly an element. To explain - I was made redundant suddenly and once I'd got over the shock (which lasted about a day) I worried about it not one jot. I blithely went out and got another job, taking opportunities, not getting anxious and worried which I'd always done previously. Other things happened as well in which I seized an opportunity and everything turned out just fine. This was all very different from my usual modus operandi and very freeing.

Then I became disillusioned for unrelated reasons and it all went phut. I started to feel I was living in a fools' paradise. The confidence evaporated and the anxieties came back.

However one thing has stayed with me, that is that personal possessions no longer have such a grip on me as they used to. I used to get really upset if I lost anything or it was stolen. Now I just think of things as having been borne away on the great tide of life to wash up on some other shore. It certainly feels better than fulminating that some scumbag who isn't entitled is gloating over my possessions right now!


Yes, we all need to be reminded of how this all works. The key in the end is to "be". For when we are being, we are not wanting, we are accepting, we are aware, we are grateful and we do not want and that is what opens the gates to the garden. It is somewhat counter intuitive to not believe that we have to want to get. We have all heard the adage that we must want something bad enough to get it. As you said there is a difference between having a vision and having an unfulfilled want. We much simply be and in our state of being be grateful for all there is.


I can tell you time and time again where I have ASKED God, and received. The God that I am talking about is a personal God, as well as a "force". This personal God says to me, "ASK and you will receive. SEEK and you will find. KNOCK and the door will be open."

The so-called law of attraction? Iffy at best. DEFINITELY not quantifiable (unless you're talking about real magnets, not humans).

Here is something I've found to be true about "The Zone". It's alot like telling someone, "Whatever you do, DON"T think about Pink Elephants!" What happens?

Thoughts need to be trained. And our emotions are influenced by our thoughts. If I fall out of The Zone, all I have to do is redirect my thoughts and 9 times out of 10, my mood lifts.

The biggest effect comes from Gratitude.

And understanding that we are emotional creatures (as well as mental and physical), helps us to realize that having a bad day isn't indicative of being "non spiritual" or spiritually immature.

Regarding "Wanting" and all that - I think of the natural world. It is the nature of life to EXPAND and GROW. I look at my 'wanting' sort of like that. Where I try to keep my focus these days on the 'what's' of my wanting - keeping them in alignment with Gods.

Funny thing is, God WANTS me to experience a life of abundance! LOLOL

Just my 2 cents. :) Love you!


Hello I'm new here :-)

Equanimity is one of my favourite words!

I like the intention of your blog.

I sincerely hope that this comment finds you feeling good :-)

best wishes


If you are motivated by fear that doesn't feel good so your emotions are telling you that this is the wrong direction to go. So yes, even if you are motivated by fear your emotions are telling you to go a different direction, that means they are working for you because our ultimate goal in life is to be happy and joyful. I look at emotions as my steering wheel if it feels good do it, if it feels bad find something else to do.

Love and Blessings,


Hi gypsy-heart – Yes, thank you - I like the discussions here in the comments, so it’s always nice when other people say they enjoy them too. As I often say, I too am wary of anyone who claims to have ‘the one and only path’. The ideas in this blog are presented for consideration only. It is up to you the reader to decide whether or not they are true for you. And as you suggest, gypsy-heart, words rarely (never?) contain the entirety of the truth in any case. They can only point the way. They can show you where you may find the flower. They cannot make you *see* it.

I think you are right not to think about “it”. That’s what I did – and look where it got me! It’s like happiness. It’s best if you don’t go looking for it. That way, it may creep up on you when you least expect it.

Many thanks for you comment, gypsy-heart. I’m glad you came by too!


Dave – No problem – thanks for clarifying! I’m glad I was on the right track. The point you make is an important one. It is non-judgment rather than acceptance which is really the ultimate key to freedom, though I believe that acceptance is a very significant step along the way.


Hi again Joanne – It sounds like what you had was *trust*, which is really another word for the non-attachment I mentioned in the post. It really is amazing the way things tend to work out if we don’t get stressed about them. It’s happened to me on several significant occasions, but in spite of this evidence, I still find trusting difficult. It is much more in line with my temperament to look for all the things that can go wrong so as to be *prepared* for when they do! Things can work out that way too, but it’s a lot more stressful.

As for possessions, Eckhart Tolle teaches that we identify with them in order to strengthen our ego’s tenuous sense of self. Along with our beliefs, our sense of status, and other elements of our ‘story’, we believe that they define who we are. What you say suggests that you have broken free of this illusion. You realize that you are really much greater and more enduring than what your ego believes you to be, and you have kept in touch with this truth, even though you are not presently able to 'trust' in your everyday life. But I think this feeling of trust – this connection - comes and goes in us all. I have heard it described as like waves coming in and out as the tide comes in. I suspect that your process of awakening is continuing. It’s just that those waves can sometimes take a while to return...


Hi Mark – Thanks for dropping by! As you say, the state of simply ‘being’ is free from want. It is how we are meant to be, I think (no pun intended!). We are human beings, not human ‘doings’ after all! It isn’t always easy to explain to someone about this state of ‘being’ – connecting with the moment perhaps? – but it all seems very clear when you are there.


Grace – Thanks so much for sharing your 2 cents here. It sounds like you’re in the zone and riding the waves! As I read through what you have to say, I wanted to know *more*. (Now what does that tell you about *me*!?) Like ‘how exactly do you ask then?’ and ‘tell us more about redirecting your thoughts’. Ideas for blog posts perhaps? But I think the gist of what you have to say is contained in your words: “God WANTS me to experience a life of abundance!” In other words, you *trust* (that word again!). That is why you can ask and receive, Grace, because you do not have a clinging attachment to what you request. You know that the universe will provide and you are grateful for it.

And that same abundance is available to all of us – if we can only realize…


Hi Ribbon - Thanks for your good wishes and welcome to my blog! I hope I shall hear from you again...


Hi again Angelbaby - I have come to realize that the emotions I feel often have very little to do with what is happening at that moment. They are often stored emotions which are coming to the surface to be released. If I follow them, I could be in serious trouble! I agree that emotions have their role - like alerting us to the need to take urgent action, for instance - but these days I usually prefer to listen to my heart or my inner guidance, my 'buddhi' as I have described it. But of course, as you have mentioned yourself, Angelbaby, we are all different. It is right that we should go with what works for us.


Hi Simon - looks like you have found the secret of life after all - did you find your car keys as well?

I think this is a great post. For people who have watched The Secret or heard of the Law of Attraction, but don't understand why it doesn't (apparently) work for them, it would go a long way to helping them sort it out, if they want to, I think. Frank and I have been discussing the very things you have brought up a fair bit, lately.

All the best - Robin

Frank Shaw

Hi Simon

I read with great Interest your post on Equanimity, how true, simple things are always hardest to understand, it would appear !!!

You might be interested in a book I am reading at the moment, its very much along the lines of your post.

It is called GOD I AM, From Tragic to Magic by Peter O Erbe.

Take care


Hi Robin and Frank - It's great to hear from you both. Many thanks for your comments.

The car keys are still lost, Robin - but one out of two's not bad, is it? Mind you, this particular secret of life has already been superseded, following Dave's earlier comment in which he observed that being non-judgmental is the *real* key to freedom. If we're thinking in terms of 'accepting' something then inevitably we've already judged that whatever we're accepting is 'bad'. It takes it one stage further not to judge in the first place. Good, eh? And I'm expecting the new, improved third generation 'secret' to come along at any moment...

I think a lot of the recent information about the law of attraction has given the impression that using it is easy, which for most of us it isn't. I think non-attachment is the main pitfall which people tend to overlook, but there are also others, such as feeling we're not worthy of whatever we want, or failing to realize that action is usually needed to achieve our goal. It won't necessarily just fall out of the sky...

Thanks a lot for the book recommendation!


Hi Simon

In response to your comment above, I'm wondering if that third-generation secret might be "this too shall pass"...?

Liara Covert

Simon, your point about not having is well-taken. As you point out in the article, the existence of desire is itself the symptom of something many people choose to miss. To decide outcomes are irrelveant is a reflection of evolving detachment. When what happens does not matter to you, this does not always reflect indifference or disinterest. It can go deeper.


Hi Pam - Thanks for your comment. 'This too shall pass...' is a useful concept which has undoubtedly helped many people through difficult times, but to my mind, it's further down the 'secret of life' pecking order. Like acceptance, it seems to imply a negative judgment on whatever is going to pass. It's not even achieving acceptance really, as you're not really accepting this thing, you're just kind of gritting your teeth and waiting for it to go. That's how I read the phrase, anyway.

I guess you could read it another way, which is as a realization that everything is transitory and therefore any kind of judgment about it is ultimately pointless, but I don't think that most people would see it that way.


Hi again, Liara - "When what happens does not matter to you, this does not always reflect indifference or disinterest." Exactly. It's sometimes very hard to imagine that mindset, but that is the ultimate state of being, I think. "In the world but not of it" is another way to express it. We appreciate the things of this world, but we do not have an attachment to them.


Simon, I meant that "this too shall pass" would refer to *everything*. This is the meaning that you note in your second paragraph. Have I really become so specialised in my outlook that "most people" wouldn't get my meaning?

Maybe so.



Don't worry, Pam. Sad people don't read my blog. :-) It may indeed be the case that most people actually interpret the phrase in the way that you do and it's my interpretation that's out of step. In which case maybe it's me that's sad! Except I can't be because I read my blog too...

Perhaps we should take a show of hands at our meeting on Sunday. Or would anyone else like to give an opinion?


I feel sadness :) and I have begun to read your blog.


That's fine, Tumel. I was just being silly before. And of course the message of this post is that it is indeed fine when we feel sadness - or any other emotion. We are meant to experience darkness as well as light. That is simply the way of this world. But if we can be OK about the darkness we experience, it no longer has the power to bind us.

I'm glad you discovered my blog at last! I remember you well from the comments you left on Sue Ann's site. I read and enjoyed your own blog a few times but could never work out how to leave a comment...

If you would like a little help with equanimity, by the way, I recommend Ho'opnopono, which I talked about in the following post:


thank you for this link Simon, I loved reading of Ho'opnopono. when I was reading it, it reminded me of this song


Return to Innocence by Enigma.


Hi Tumel - I'm glad you found Ho'opnopono interesting. I like that song too. Have you heard Enigma's third album, 'Le Roi Est Mort..."? That's my favorite, and it also contains some pertinent tracks...

Catherine Dowling

I've just discovered your blog and it's no longer active. What a pity for me. It's a great blog.

Here's a quote relevant to this post. I think it comes from Richard Rohr and the wording may not be quite accurate but it's near enough. "Our biggest barrier to finding god is our last experience of god."

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Some Favorite Quotes

  • "The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone like us to come along - people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It is overwhelming to consider the numerous opportunities there are to make our love felt." - Leo Bascaglia
  • "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill
  • "My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." - Michel de Montaigne
  • "Take any fear. Call it out. Actually make an appointment: I'll meet you face to face to get this settled once and for all at 'such-n-such' time. Tell it you'll even meet it in its own space: a dark room. And you'll find nothing will ever come to meet you..." - Sue Ann Edwards
  • "Your mind is the interference to experiencing the bliss of this moment." - Dr Joe Vitale
  • "A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive." - Albert Einstein


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