The Image Within

An interesting discussion about affirmations has developed in the comments to the previous post, How to Have It All. Click here to take a look.

In one of those comments, Andy pointed out that we get attached not only to external objects such as houses, cars, iPods, and other people, but also to our own thought forms. We all have ideas about ourselves and what other people think of us, and our attachment to these can be even stronger than it is to our beloved material goods.

Back when I was a lad, and that was a long, long time ago, before even Mrs Thatcher ascended the throne, these sort of attachments were planted in us by our parents. I remember at the age of three having a perfectly good tantrum: spread out on the floor of the hall, lungs in full flow, and feet banging very pleasurably against the carpet, only to be told by my mother to "stop it at once". Why, I remember thinking, I'm not doing any harm, am I? I'm just trying to get rid of some negative energy here... What's the problem? I think I tried to explain this to her, but as I was only three at the time, it probably came across as "Waugghhhh!"

And then my mother came out with that killer phrase she always used: "What will other people think?"

On that occasion, it probably didn't have any effect. After all, what does a little kid care what anybody thinks about him? But after a while, as I slowly grew up, and the phrase was repeated again and again like the slow drip-drip of some ghastly tap, it finally took hold somewhere deep down in my psyche. I was no longer able to live my life in vacant abandon, picking my nose whenever I pleased. I now had an image of propriety I had to present to the world. If I farted in public, I had better make sure that nobody thought it was me.

These days, as far as I can work out, parents don't lumber their kids with such high standards. As long as they haven't actually killed anyone by the time they're sixteen, they can say they've done a reasonable job of parenting. But the kids of today aren't free any more than we were. With fewer restrictions imposed by society, they impose them upon each other. They can pick their nose all they want, but they'd better make sure they're wearing Nikes while they're doing it. The requirement to conform has been replaced by the need to be cool.

If any such kids are reading this, please understand that I know I'm speaking in gross generalisations here. The point I'm making in my daft way is this: we grow up with an idea about ourselves that we feel we have to present to the world. The precise way in which this happens may change as our society changes, but most of us never escape from it - unless we can start to realise what is happening.

More about this next time...

 

These may also be of interest:

Disorientation

Vision

Not Between You and Them...

Comments

[Andy]

We are all raised from an early age to wear masks to face the world. Interestingly the word "person" comes from the Latin word persona meaning mask.

[Phoenix]

I agree with you about the need for self awareness. Those messages we carry around about ourselves limit us all the time. We live as the people we think we are from the sense we have made of feedback from others. But this stops us from being the people we could be - all that potential in the world going to waste. How sad is that?!

[Andy]

Coindentally I was sent this quote yesterday by Vernon Howard which I believe describes this predicament:
"You should reject falsehood because it is false to you. Think with depth upon this idea and you will see where you have been loyal to a traitor. It is as if a soldier at your side suddenly reveals himself to be one of the enemy. Truth delivers what false-
hood can only slyly promise to deliver. Let truth deliver a new life to you."

[Secret Simon]

Thanks for your comments, Andy and Phoenix. The reference which Phoenix makes to potential going to waste reminds me of the philosopher Plato's metaphor of the cave, in which people spend their lives watching shadows on the wall of a cave, not realising that they are free to step outside it if they wish. We ourselves can take off our masks if we want to, but most of us don't even realise that we're wearing them. To take off the masks and become as we really are is both easy and difficult. Easy because this was how we were as babies: being ourselves and expressing our feelings naturally; but difficult, too, because our "programming", the things we have learnt as we grew and "matured", have caused us to lose this ability. I'll come back to this in one of the main posts shortly.

[Andy]

There's a essay I read on this subject by someone I regard as a great spirtual teacher. I've managed to find it on-line at http://www.iloveulove.com/unconditlove/yourmask.htm

[Secret Simon]

Thanks, Andy - and an interesting web site too.