Positive Thinking For Beginners

The Law of Attraction, the idea that we can draw to ourselves whatever we want simply through the power of positive thought, seems to be all the rage at the moment, due at least partly to the success of Rhonda Byrne's DVD, The Secret. I know that a lot of my readers are heavily into this already, and, believe me, you have my support - but I have to admit that when it comes to this sort of thing, I myself am a bit of a beginner.

I'm also a bit confused, to be honest. The spiritual techniques I tend to use derive from Eckhart Tolle, Nick Roach, and indeed Sri Bhagavan, the emphasis of which are accepting what is. The law of attraction, and its central idea of drawing to us whatever we desire, seems to me to be an alternative - and perhaps conflicting - strategy. I'm not sure that there has to be conflict, but I can't get it entirely straight in my mind.

If you have any thoughts on this, please do leave a comment!

Some of the content of The Secret causes me further confusion. We are told that when we are imagining what we wish to bring into being, feeling good is important. If we don't feel good we should put on a favourite piece of music or think of something we like, and then we'll feel better and be more effective at attracting the right things.

But surely feeling good isn't always that easy? And if it is so easy, then why exactly do we need to attract all these things into our lives anyway? Isn't the idea that they're going to make us feel good? But if we can feel good anyway just by putting on a piece of music, why do we need all these things in the first place?

I also wonder whether forcing ourselves to feel good all the time is necessarily helpful. I've previously talked about dealing with difficult emotions, and part of the problem seemed to be that we tend to have emotions inside us which have long been suppressed. Don't we have to accept that it is part of life to feel such unhelpful emotions from time to time, at least for limited periods? That we need to feel these emotions and allow them to be released? If we're trying to feel good all the time, aren't we simply suppressing such emotions and storing them up to cause problems in the future?

I feel a bit bad about writing this post, because I guess people come here for positive stuff and here am I being a bit negative for once. So let me make clear that I do believe in the law of attraction. If you're on a roll with it and you're making it work for you, then that's brilliant. The last thing I want to do is to stop you - you're doing a brilliant job! I guess my concern is really with people like me who have difficulty with this thing. It's not the law of attraction that's the problem so much as our ability to make the thing work!

A lot of it is down to attachment really. I've written about this before in a previous post, How To Have It All.  The basic problem is that if we're really attached to getting something, any positive thoughts we put out to try to attract it to us are likely to be cancelled out by negative thoughts such as 'This'll never work!' or 'I don't deserve it!'. Only when we can lose such attachments and connect instead with the universe, with the wonderful source of energy I keep talking about in this blog, do we realize that our happiness does not need to be dependent upon such material things. Only then can our happiness be assured.

Then, when we no longer need them, good things will come along, because we are no longer putting out the negative, anxious thoughts which help to keep them away. (I hope this makes sense! I may have explained it more clearly in the post I mentioned above.)

So this is the path I'm going for myself: accepting what is, releasing stored up emotions, and tuning into the universe. Then whatever I want will be mine when I know that I no longer need it.

But you don't have to listen to me! If the law of attraction is working for you, that 's brilliant.  This blog is not about trying to impose specific belief systems on people. You have to find the truth that is right for you. And we are all working with the same energy anyway. The energy you tune into when you are imagining what you want is the same energy I tune into when I relax and accept what is. We are coming to the same thing from different angles.

But when the connection is made, it is effortless. When it all seems to flow, you know you are doing it right!

If you are working with the law of attraction and it doesn't seem to be flowing, however; if you feel negative energy creeping in and you're beating yourself up because you can't feel good all the time, then maybe you need to think about changing your strategy: not to abandon the law of attraction altogether but perhaps to choose the specific techniques you use more carefully. Because in spite of what I've written here, I'm going to go for the law of attraction myself - alongside my other spiritual practices - but what I'm going to concentrate on are three specific easy techniques, two of which are mentioned on The Secret DVD and one of which isn't. Call it 'positive thinking for negative people' if you like! I'll talk about these techniques and why I've chosen them in a future series of posts.

In the meantime, if you have any thoughts on any of this, please leave a comment - I am looking for guidance myself!

(There were some interesting comments on the previous post, The Ultimate Purpose Of Life? and I was given plenty of opportunity to expand on my ideas. You can see the discussion here.)

These may also be of interest:

The Heat of The Secret

How to Deal With Difficult Emotions

How To Have It All

Comments

[Gorilla Bananas]

If feeling good is all that matters, just inject your body with narcotics. We gorillas have learned to take comfort from the realistion that all things must pass.

[Mark]

I can understand the conflict that you are going through. I know that the law of attraction works, is at play, wheather you activly practice it or not. You will attract that into your life which you think about or focus on. Where I found some conflict with the movie "The Secret" was that I could see some people saying wow, this is great, this is how I can attract all the material things in life that I think will make me happy. The truth is that happiness is not in external things and that people who use "the secret" to try to find happiness will be disappointed. This will not lead them to a true happiness.
The law of attraction is wonderful, it works both from a positive and negative side. I know, it has worked all of my life! I have been practicing "The Secret" for many years.

[jennifer]

Ohh Simon, you express so eloquently how I feel at times. There is the teaching of acceptance with which I am very familiar with having studied Vendanta. Then there is the dynamic of the law of attraction and the power of the mind. Personally, for ME, I have come to believe there is something more to both of these... if we always feel joyful and at peace there will be no creativity nor will there be the strength to bring into the universe more depth and awareness... (at least I don't see this happening at all.... the universe doesn't seem to work this way). And... if we completely accept what is, in the fullest sense, we do not seem to have the vision to bring something more holy and beautiful into existence. IOW, there seems to be something about experiencing what we do, for the universe to fully express itself. Not denying, not eliminating, not ignoring our humanness but allowing our very unique expression (albeit oneness), to bring forth the creativity that is within each of us as an expression of the whole. IOW, accept what is while holding a vision of what is possible.... or noticing our sorrows while allowing the creativity to heal, flow through us. Does that make sense? :-) Always fun to explore with you! Jen

[Desiree]

Personally I've never read the secret although I'd like to. I do believe in attracting things into your life. It took me a long time to realize that I really do have that power...But in any event I wanted to comment on what you said about emotions and feeling good. I do think that it's important to release your negative feelings. However, releasing them does not mean you have to bathe in them! There is certainly nothing wrong with playing your favorite music and making yourself feel better. What's more you can be happy and still wish to have more in your life. Being happy does not mean you quit wanting better things or situations for yourself. Happiness is not the end it's merely a state of mind.

[Malcolm Campbell]

When we "accept what is," are we not then accepting ourselves. "What is" is our creation, an "outer world" reflecting our "inner world." To dislike what we see before us is rather like disliking one's hand or one's foot.

--Malcolm
(also at http://knightofswords.wordpress.com/

[Bobby]

This is so true! I work out of my Bliss. This is a full positive experience which draws nothing but positivity from the world/Environment. Very nice artricle!!

[efraim]

Hey there
I do understand most of your questions about LOA. I am not exactly sure what message the Secret movie gives (although they looked so bright and empowered during Oprah hahaha) I know many channelings conveying the same message, that we create throught the power of thought. I'd say the most clear of these messages come from Abraham (channeled by Hicks) There you can find answers to most of your questions as well... they emphasize many times that what actually matters is the feeling, not the manifestation of desires. Feeling good is what matters because feeling good is the feelling of connection to the source, and when that is happening the manifestation of deisres is inevitable. They underline the importance of THE JOURNEY (through emotions) finding yourself go higher and higher in the scale of emotions, going through life but finding your center which can only feel good. That is more important than manifesting desires.

That being said, trough all this time, I am still searching for an answer to my question. How does creation from contrast (which LOA is based upon, the contrast or duality creates desires/preferences and you manifest them), so how does that relate to "oneness" ? I can't understand how we can reach and/or experience onesness if we are attached to contrast to form desires and manifest them thus realize our human creativity. Maybe questions like that are caused by intellectualizing the spiritual ? :)

[Simon]

Hi Gorilla - But what we're talking about here is feeling good *without* the side effects! Hmm. Maybe that's how we should be 'selling' spirituality to the world: 'As good as drugs, but nothing like as bad...'

[Simon]

Hi Mark - You clarify a very important point. That is the unspoken promise in The Secret: that all these material things you can attract are going to make you happy. And, as you suggest, happiness lies elsewhere. There is a lot of good stuff in The Secret and it may be the first introduction which many people have to the possibility of a new kind of spiritual dimension in their lives. But the trouble is that others will not see past the promise of material gain.

[Simon]

Many thanks for your comment, Jennifer. There is much to ponder in what you say. "Accept what is while holding a vision of what is possible." I like that very much. And it unites both the law of attraction and Eckhart Tolle, does it not?

I believe that we live in a world of light and darkness, and this will always be so. What I hope is that in the years which lie ahead, we will all reach the stage where we are conscious of the light even when the darkness is deepest. Sorrows will still exist, for as you suggest, they are a necessary part of the way our world works. But we will not get *stuck* in them any longer. They will only be clouds which pass across the sun.

[Simon]

Hi Desiree - Thanks for this. I see from your blog that you've ordered The Secret now! I think I could probably write several pages on what you say, so I'll just stick to one point. You write: 'Happiness is not the end - it's merely a state of mind.' Having thought about this, I think I believe that actually happiness *is* the end. But I'm not sure I'm disagreeing with you, because I'm using the word 'happiness' here in its broadest sense. This would include, say, living a varied and useful life, rather than simply a sequence of sensual pleasures. It would also, I think, include periods of what we might normally think of as *unhappiness* to allow us to fully experience its opposite. As you also say, there is nothing wrong in wanting more or better situations for ourselves, but the happiness which I envisage requires that we are not attached such outcomes.

[Simon]

Thanks for all your comments! I'll respond to Malcolm, Bobby, and Efraim shortly...

[Angela]

I like your style and totally agree with what you are saying.
I'm 46 and have studied the metaphysical for over 20 years now. Not an expert but it is a part of my being.
The positive thinking part has always had me stumped. I did have negative thoughts and then felt guilty for having them. A catch 22 if there was one.
So, when I came across James F. Twyman's book called "Emissary of Light: My Adventures with the Secret Peacemakers," I became somewhat relieved. And it ties in with something I believe.
I believe that there is no good or bad in this universe, it just is. Events have happened to me in this lifetime that I would have called "bad" but the results of said bad event have turned out to be good.
So, it follows that thought is not positive nor negative, it just is. It's our judgement of that thought that gives us the problem.
Therefore, according to the book, it is better to release the judgement about the thought and move the energy or passion behind it to the heart center where it becomes pure loving energy. And just for good measure, blast it out to the universe. Share the love, so to speak.
I'm just half way through the book but feel better already (the closet negative thinker that I am!)
Be well, all.

[Simon]

A few more responses:

Malcolm - There's a great deal in this short comment of yours. It's a bit like a Zen Koan. I guess the truth is, though, that not all of us do accept ourselves - nor indeed what we have created. And if we do come to accept ourselves, do we automatically come to accept the world we've created also? I don't think most of us acknowledge the connection.

Bobby - Speaking of connections, it sounds like you have the one that matters! Well done! What did I say in the post? "When the connection is made, it is effortless. When it all seems to flow, you know you are doing it right!" It sounds like Bobby is doing it right...

Efraim - You also stress the importance of this connection. You say: "when that is happening, the manifestation of desires is inevitable". I agree entirely. I think it is all a question of where you place the priority. If you concentrate on your desires, then it seems to me that you need the connection to bring them into being. But if you concentrate on the connection, then all else follows.

Re. the question you ask, Efraim: "I can't understand how we can reach and/or experience oneness if we are attached to contrast to form desires and manifest them?" I think the important word here is 'attached'. No, if attachment is present, I don't think we *can* have oneness. It gets in the way of the connection and so, it follows, it also gets in the way of the law of attraction. The visualizations only work if we don't get attached to the outcome.

[Simon]

Hi Angela - Great to hear from you! It sounds like your experience of positive thinking has been the same as mine: "I did have negative thoughts and then felt guilty for having them. A catch 22 if there was one." I'm afraid that many people viewing The Secret are going to feel like this - and indeed also feel guilty about not feeling happy. This law of attraction stuff isn't easy for everyone, but The Secret gives the impression that it is.

James F Twyman's book sounds excellent - thanks for the recommendation. It seems to me that sending out love - and indeed gratitude - are the best way to attract good things into our lives. Hang the specifics - how on earth are *we* supposed to know what's good for us?

Thanks again for all your comments - and welcome to the newcomers! Your thoughts have helped me to develop my ideas on this - thank you.

[Vivi-Mari]

Simon, you are not alone in being slightly sceptical. I have also come to the conclusion, that it's not the ideas that are at fault, it's the attachment it brings about, plus the way they are bieng used, of course. To me, a "craze" brings about a manipulative attitude, which defenitely is against the idea that we are one with the universe. I think people are easily polarised, going from overly negative thinking to overly positive (which are relative concepts, too!). I don't think the answer is either or. True "flow" transcends any intentions that come from the mind, because the mind is stuck in a dualist way of thinking and perceiving things. Recently I broke up with my boyfriend and I tried very hard to be positive and divert myself from the pain. It worked for a couple of weeks, then it caugth up with me through a really deep sense of depression and nightmares and worries about what I lost and how my ex and his son are coping. Feelings are not only "bad", they can contain valuable lessons of compassion, too. That is why, I think, we need to feel it all. We can never know where the feelings will take us or what their message may be.

[Sally]

Hi All
I realise that this probably has been covered before but felt it worth sharing. I e mailed this message to a sceptical friend who thought that The Secret was all about greed and who didn't use it because there wasn't anything she could think of that she wanted. So I felt I'd like to share it here.

For me The Secret is not about material/financial gain as when I first watched it I had nothing I could think of that I need adding to my life.
Work with the gratitude aspect and that really changes your outlook on life........that brings the most intense feelings of bliss and of joy. I looked at
relationships I found challenging and began focusing on that persons strong points......that was an eye opener.......you really do find changes in the relationship.Use it for health issues......your own or other peoples. Use it for world peace.........by not getting dragged into all the negative aspects the press
gives us ........focus always on the positive. As far as manifesting material changes ......it need not be selfish .....I am working on lending my energies to my
husbands wish for a new job and the things my friends are in need of.

I know that things will only ever manifest at the right time and for the person's highest good. For me it is the certain knowledge of the positive energies I am
sending out into the world ..........and I am attracting the same energies back to myself.
Manifestation has become a much misused term as people tend to think it means abundance in the financial sense. Abundance is so much more than that.
The mindset The Secret has opened up in me just seem to let life flow effortlessly because I have released worry and stress from my life. I watch a bit last thing every night and I wake up feeling so joyful and positive. Keep using it regularly and see what happens.......start with little things like the parking place you would like to find ......and be grateful for that. Simply put The Law of Attraction really works .......you walk round Sainsbury's feeling good and smiling ..and you get the same back from others. When you are feeling negative you will attract others in that same space.
See you in Sainsbury's sometime.......I'll be the one with the silly grin on my face!!

[Simon]

Belated thanks to Vivi-Mari and Sally for your two perspectives on this - both equally valid, I think. This is a complex subject and I hope to return to it soon. But the words of Sri Bhagavan keep coming to mind: "Truth however profound, when it is not yours still remains untruth." And by the same token, when we have found a way which feels right for us, we have found what is true for us.

[Jennifer]

I think ultimately the Law of Attraction teaches us empowerment. I was happy to see the Secret come on the scene, but I have been a student of the Law of Attraction for a number of years, so to me it seemed like Law of Attraction "Lite". The problem with it gaining such ground with the movie and the media is that inevitably these very complex concepts get reduced to soundbites.

If you are a seeker, you may wish to check out the teachings of Abraham (www.abraham-hicks.com). In fact, the teachings of Abraham heavily influenced so many of the Secret teachers, including the producer Rhonda Byrne. Esther Hicks (channeling Abraham) was actually on the original DVD in fact.

Abraham's teachings go much deeper and far beyond merely thinking positively in order to manifest "stuff". And Simon, you are right on when you say that we only want "stuff" because we believe in the having of it, it will bring us joy. That is pure Abraham! Abraham suggests, as you have, why not just reach for the joy? Everything else then is just icing on the cake.

We reach for the joy incrementally by finding better feeling thoughts in our now. There is really no conflict for me with Tolle or any of the other teachers I find myself attracted to. It's just when people try to oversimplify things some of the deeper and most powerful truths can get a little buried.

Best wishes,
Jennifer

[Simon]

Thanks for this Jennifer. I shall check out the Abraham website. I think you are right about oversimplification in The Secret. There's a lot of good stuff in it, though there does seem to be a deliberate emphasis on manifesting big houses and sports cars to attract attention and pull in the punters.

[Bonnie]

I found your blog via blog about your blog and started reading. What a wonderful blog. I had to read what you thought about the Secret. While I do believe in the law of attraction I have to wonder about the application of this law to getting what you want on the material plane. Also as a mostly Buddhist person, there is a lot about accepting what is rather than being attached to something else. So it is interesting. And I'm not sure how I feel about it.

There's a part of me that believes that things work that way--look at the studies of people meditation on peac in cities and the fact that the crime rate goes down. But, the current Law of Attraction fad seems so focused on getting the material things that we want.

I do think we need to honor the negatives that come up and work through those dark feelings and pain before we start trying to cover it up with joy. Real joy just doesn't cover up pain and fear, it's accepting those feelings for what they are and moving beyond them.

[Secret Simon]

Hi Bonnie - Welcome and thanks for your comments! I think I pretty much totally agree with you. You say you aren't sure how you feel about this and you will probably gather from my post that I have been a bit confused too. I'm still refining my ideas about the Law of Attraction and will be posting about it again soon (thinks: "I think I might have made that promise before...") Put simply, though, I am very much of the 'accepting what is' persuasion myself. I do believe in the Law of Attraction, but I doubt the ability of most people to use it to bring them specific material things. And indeed if they *could* do so, I doubt it would bring them what they *really* want in their lives. Those dark feelings and pain may be there for a purpose.

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