I posted last time about the breathing technique, Quantum Light Breath. I mentioned that I had found this effective in helping to clear suppressed emotions. This is very true, though my experience of using the technique has been much more remarkable than the above description suggests, so I thought I'd tell you a bit more about what happened.
The first few times I listened to the QLB audio, I found myself in tears. This may not sound like a pleasant way to spend an evening, but after decades of suppressing such emotions, it came as a welcome relief to me to express the feelings I'd been holding back for so long. In the days that followed, I found that my habitual anger - always ready to rear its head if the slightest thing went wrong - had magically disappeared, and the next time I did the QLB, I felt what I can only describe as 'light energy' flooding through the top of my head. It was as though in expressing - and so releasing - the emotions, a blockage had been cleared, allowing a connection with a source of light to be established. I could feel the energy flooding into me and see what appeared to be flashes of light through the closed lids of my eyes.
The following day was like heaven on earth. I found I had a persistent sense of peace and joy inside me, a feeling which coloured my interaction with everything around me. My impression was that this was how it might feel to be enlightened: to be in the world yet not of it, to be very much engaged in the events of my day, yet at the same time aware of a source of love which could sustain me against whatever I encountered. This experience lasted for round about forty-eight hours. On the third day, my connection to the source of joy became intermittent and then apparently dwindled away altogether. I've had flashes of it since, but things have pretty much returned to 'normal'. (Unfortunately!)
Over the years, I've had various similar experiences of altered states of consciousness - all achieved without the aid of drugs, I should make clear... Most of these have been for shorter periods of time, in most cases a few minutes, in others a few hours - sometimes spontaneously, sometimes in response to such events as meditating or attending a spiritual seminar - though on one occasion (after first receiving Deeksha), the experience was once again for about forty-eight hours, much of which time I spent sorting through the clutter in my study and throwing a large proportion of it into black bags, filled with a spontaneous impulse to lighten my load of worldly possessions.
On this latest occasion, with the Quantum Light Breath, the experience seemed somehow more stable. Part of me suspected it would fade away again, though as I was very much in the present moment, whether or not it would last was of no great concern to me. Perhaps for this reason, another part of me felt that the experience was here to stay: that this was how it would be for me from now on, and - more importantly perhaps - that this was how it could be for all humanity.
Much of the time, I am writing this blog about spirituality from the perspective of someone who is still trying to make sense of it all, who still seems to be on the outside looking in. Sometimes, I'm so steeped in the endless churnings of my mind that the ideas I'm writing about seem to bear as much relation to my everyday life as they do to the surface of Mars. So it's nice to get these reminders from time to time that these ideas are real, not some ridiculous pie in the sky - and the really good news is that if I can have such experiences, then so can everyone else. There's nothing special about me. There's nothing special about any of us. Or, to put it another way: we are all special, because we're all one, all part of a single entity which is everything that is, and all capable of experiencing that for ourselves. Naturally, I am exercising my mind as to how exactly to get that understanding, that knowing, back right now, but all it seems to take, when put at it simplest, is to be willing to let go and accept what is: to be willing to feel and let go of emotions instead of holding them fast, to be willing to let life unfold instead of trying to control it, to allow the universe to simply be. Because, let's face it, that's what's going to happen anyway, so we might as well save ourselves the pain of trying to stop it.
And the really, really good news is that how I was for those forty-eight hours felt great. I was still very much me, but the connection to joy which I felt seemed to take away the pain of being me. It was like everything was exactly the same but the sun had come out. Was this enlightenment then? I suspect it was only base camp on the foothills of enlightenment, but it would do very nicely for now, thanks very much.
If Sri Bhagavan (and numerous others) are right, this is what is in store for all humanity in the years ahead. All humanity, that is, not only those who behave in a specified way or eat the right foods or believe in a, b and c instead of x, y and z, but all of us. All humanity will be enlightened, and will have this connection to joy.
Or if others are right then perhaps this outcome is not assured and we will have to work for it: we will have to work to make it happen. If that is the case, this latest experience of mine has taught me that we need to do that. We need to work to achieve this change in consciousness for all humanity. Because if we could all be in that state of being of which I was given a brief taste, there would still be challenges for the human race, there would still be arguments, there would still be a lot of work to do to make the world the kind of place we all want to live in, but at least we would have a chance of making that happen. Because all the stuff that gets in the way: the anger, the hurt, the cruelty; all the violence, all the abuse, all the injustice; that great burden of sadness which afflicts the human race, would be lifted from our shoulders. In the presence of that connection to joy, such things could not survive. They would melt away like shards of ice in the sun.
These may also be of interest:
Simon, congratulations on your experience! This was a wonderful post, expressing so well what I labour to say. Thank you.
For me, it takes hard work, still, to be in that place on a consistent basis. I'm getting better at it the more I practice. And the benefits are amazing...so much so, I will fight to hold it close.
I smiled to myself as I read your description; it was so nice to read of your pacific moment, as a friend of mine would say...I certainly recognized it!
Posted by: Marion | June 07, 2007 at 05:25 PM
Hi Simon,
I feel that such experiences are, rather than attainment of anything, a letting go. By trying to cling to these experiences i.e 'I want it to remain like this' we then stop letting go - and so the pain comes back into our life.
Re-reading your post I feel this sums it all up "to be willing to let go and accept what is: to be willing to feel and let go of emotions instead of holding them fast, to be willing to let life unfold instead of trying to control it, to allow the universe to simply be."
Simply let go and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Posted by: Andy | June 07, 2007 at 11:30 PM
Simon,
Thanks for sharing this joyful experience. You are very blessed.
You are right, even if we were all to acheive this level of consistent enlightenment there would still be work to do.
Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
Posted by: Mark | June 08, 2007 at 03:09 PM
This is fantastic-sounding stuff. I'm glad I "chanced" into your blog this evening and read your post. I'm going to have to come back and read it again as well as what you've said previously about it. But I sure do like the sound of it.
Malcolm
Posted by: Malcolm CampbellM | June 09, 2007 at 03:53 AM
Hi Simon..
Thanks for your e mail.. thought I would reply on your blog!
I am very happy to hear that you had another such experience! Fantastic..!
And sounds like you are quite in alignment with your ideas of enlightenment.
My feeling is that for many people during the transition, that this experience-feeling of inner love, becomes the experience… increasingly more of the time… and of course like you say.. everything on the (apparent outside) continues as before.. just that emotions/ events situations will not shake or disturb the persons inner connection to love, joy, source,… (whatever anyone chooses to call it… )
And I find the more I relate to the inner experience of love (as really the only true reality) the stronger the connection becomes….
And like Nick is saying.. I have also found it helpful to dive into the depths of fears, darkness and neurosis..as they become apparent… to shine a light on every part ..and to fully experience my existential pain, to give my wounds an airing and to allow for a great healing to happen..
I heard somewhere..
“Our greatest fears are like Dragons guarding our Greatest Treasures.”
I am interested in the quantum light breath technique you have come across. I might see if I can get a copy of the cd. Perhaps it is also similar to Holotropic breath work? I think it was Stanislav Grof who did quite a lot of this kind of work.. Though I think he was almost encouraging hyper ventilation.. though not sure? As never tried it.
The closest I have come to this kind of practice is in Kundalini Yogas, breath of fire, and also in Ananda Mandala.
I have found that these kinds of experiences have often come at a time when I need a bit of encouragement! And like you said it is a reminder and gives us faith to continue on our journey.. And that it is not only worth it?… but perhaps!?…. it is the only true and real thing to aim for in this life?!…
(of course!).. not to ignore the everyday, relationships, health, finances etc.. I just find to aim first for what is true inside, then the (apparent external) naturally fits into place, (in the beginning sometimes bumpily!) and then more gradually..
The powerful breath work in yoga as you probably know is called Pranayama.
In yogic terms, it sounds like a blockage was removed from one of your energy centres, which has allowed the Kundalini energy to flow through your system, and bring about the wonderful experiences of light and bliss you were describing..
The teachings say that it can take time to integrate the new energy in the body and the brain.. that is why the Yogis would also recommend, as well as the breath practices, some physical exercises as well, and perhaps some naad (or sound yoga) mantra etc, to get the whole body prepared for vibrating at a higher frequency… and to keep using whatever technique is working to dissolve the blockages, as they become apparent… :)
Again thankyou for sharing your experience.. Also in regard to this becoming the experience for all people by 2012.. I think that would be amazing and beautiful if this is the case! Lets pray that this truly comes to light..!
The Yogic teachings say that from 2012 onwards, it will be a time of great progress for all souls.. So the many doing the work now..and embracing the changes, hopefully would be prepared enough to enter the next phase, that would give them the strength, humility and compassion to serve and help many more souls move through the transition. By many accounts it seems that the process is speeding up for us all..
Look forward to seeing you later in the year,
Namaste Simon, love from Ed
Posted by: Ed harpin | June 11, 2007 at 01:50 PM
Thanks for all you comments!
Marion - Thanks for your encouragement. I'm glad you could relate to what I'm talking about. Writing about this sort of stuff, I'm always a bit concerned that it won't make sense to anyone!
Andy - I think you are right to stress the importance of 'letting go'. This seemed to be an important factor in what happened to me - I shall post more about this soon. Your reference to the rabbit hole reminds me of the meditation tapes by Barry Long which you lent me. He talks about falling down a well... Suffering with vertigo as I do, I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with these falling metaphors. I think I prefer the idea of just relaxing and letting things be! Though perhaps this fear of heights of mine is significant in itself...
Posted by: Secret Simon | June 11, 2007 at 05:02 PM
Mark - Yes, and I think the work is important. If we'd just wanted to bliss out and do nothing, there'd be no point in us being here in this mortal existence. Our ultimate goal, I believe, is to allow our perspective to evolve so that we enjoy this existence to the full - work included.
Malcolm - I'm glad this has whetted your appetite! Like I say, I'll be posting some more about the QLB and my recent experience soon.
Posted by: Secret Simon | June 11, 2007 at 05:20 PM
Hi Ed - Many thanks for your comment. It's great to hear from you on the blog. (It may be helpful to explain that Ed is one of the people who have given me Deeksha, having studied with Sri Bhagavan in India.)
I find your comment useful as it seems to accord with my own understanding of things and carries it further. It's interesting that you stress the importance of the so-called negative feelings as well as the positive ones. As far as I can see, these 'negative' feelings are beneficial in two ways:
1) If we allow these emotions to be and truly feel them, we are able to release emotions which have long been suppressed - though my understanding is that we simply have to *feel* them, we don't have to analyse them in any way.
2) Various teachers, including Eckhart Tolle and Nick Roach, speak of reaching the point where they are able to surrender their egos and realize their true nature because they can't stand the pain any longer. So the 'negative' feelings have acted as a gateway to enlightenment.
But is it just me or or is there some conflict here? Which do of these we do? Do we feel our emotions and so release them or flee from them into enlightenement?
On further reflection I suppose what happens is this: as we release our emotions, we are able to connect more and more with that feeling of inner love and so we come to realize that another way of being is possible. We come to understand that there is indeed a real, achievable alternative to the pain.
You mention hyperventilation. In Quantum Light Breath, Jeru Kabbal encourages us to breathe as quickly or slowly as we choose, so I suppose hyperventilation is an option. But I have always chosen a slower pace and have still had some remarkable experiences.
Posted by: Secret Simon | June 14, 2007 at 11:08 AM
Hi Simon
I can relate to the two experiences of suffering you mention.. The first being the one that propels the student into the state of “Enlightenmnet..”
The second: working through whatever blockage as it arises on the path…
After a few years of being obsessed with Enlightenment!.. and finding myself getting more and more intense and neurotic..!! It lead me too, to a point of complete hopelessness and despair. I was in India at the time when this painfully intensified.. I had the experiencing of feeling that I had exhausted every possible avenue.. there was nothing else that “I” Could do… I had the feeling that I would rather die, than leave the ashram without at least something happening.!. I knew it was my ego self that needed to die.. I also knew that I could not do this myself.. it had to happen …. From that place of immense despair, fear, anxiety..and repulsion of my current state……A surrendering did take place…or grace was given.. not really sure… and then there was the breakthrough…The false ego self had dissapeared and then there is the experience of Satori or Enlightenment….
It feels like a blessing from above. There is no-one there to experience it.. In that place there is only love. Only joy, just oneness…
But this is only the beginning of something new (as I was to discover!)… a few days or weeks later… The ego-self will then will sneak back and take hold of the Enlightenment experience… (in Zen this is known as the Zen stink)…and start thinking he is a bit special.. uh oh!
The student then will need to go through a further stage of purification.. to humble him and bring him back down to earth! (and will have further blockages to work through) … for a deeper integration.. and further dissolution of the charge of the (ego self).. (The ego never goes away.. because it was never there!) Though its energy rather than being a hindrance moves and works increasingly in alignment and in service of to the soul…of truth…
He then realize there is no final goal or destination.. he comes back and lives his life..
the feeling of natural joy and bliss increase… deeper blockages and more subtle blockages may come to the surface.. and he no longer fears these. Surrender, trust and being genuine and authentic become more his natural way of being..
A teacher is still necessary at this stage.. especially if you are going to begin teaching yourself.. to be under the guidance of someone who has walked further along the path…and has already been through what you have.. is not only helpful, I think probably essential..
And there is just the gradual unfoldment of life, a continual learning, deepening and enriching …a living in alignment with things as they are and as they happen.. a new and more creative and relaxed phase seems to unfold….
I have the feeling that there is no limit.. no end… just continual unfoldment and an ever deepening and immersion into the light….
However this is just my experience and understanding at this point … and this too may change..!
In terms of working with blockages, at whatever stage you are on the path..
By the way… just to avoid the idea of hirerarchy or competion (with the idea of stages on the path.) It can be good to know, that there are always infinite beings less Enlightened than you, and always infinite beings more Enlightened than you..! so wherever you are on the path, you are always in the middle…!! And wherever you are, that is the only and most perfect place for you to be. And by being where you are… rather than trying to be in another place (e,g the idea of a future state of something the mind thinks of as Enlightenment)…. There comes the realization that the only thing to do is to dive deeper into what is Now… and experience whatever is there.. (with an attitude of kindness and curiosity. !)
As a process.. or method…
I have experienced the Quantum light breath.. and think is an incredibly powerful tool.. a way to feel and experience your true energetic self, and to see all the mind stuff, stories and emotions for what they are. Without needing to interpret or annalyze..
As a day to day practice.. I think a good way to deal with and process whatever arises (and to feel the deeper message of what your body is trying to tell you)..is dealt with very skilfully in Ann Weier Cornells book “The Power of Focusing: Finding Your inner Voice”, I found this a bit of an easier read than the original (and teacher of Ann) “Focusing” by Eugene T. Gendlin.
For myself I am finding Kundalini yoga to be a very powerful and precise technique, and I feel to be learning, deepening and growing a lot from these practices…increasing energy and deepening insights etc… and further dissolving the charge of (and befriending my ego…!) also having the guidance of a teacher.. I am finding increasingly important..
I think at some point to choose one main path..of practice and discipline can be most helpful..And with the guidance of a trusted teacher… can bring more of a focused, thorough, and guaranteed result…
Something my Yoga teacher said last weekend.. The best teachers are the ones who can be the best students.. … and every Master…. was once …a Disaster….!! …. So there is hope for us all :)
Hope this might have been of some help…
Good luck! and all the best with your house move!
Love from Ed
Posted by: Ed harpin | June 22, 2007 at 07:31 PM
Simon, Oh my, after typing in all the necessary info to post a comment I"ve plum forgotten what I was going to say! I'm such a scatterbrain that way. So I will just say for now indeed you are so right! It does take work but it is so worth the effort. It's important that we do our part even if not everyone does because the more people that are that change the more change we will see! Great insights Simon!
Posted by: Desiree | July 03, 2007 at 04:13 PM
I've not tried the QLB technique, but I have received Deeksha four times now...twice in person and twice remotely. I wrote about my first experience here:
http://the13graces.wordpress.com/2007/06/05/ready-for-one/ (I have since moved blogs)
The last remote session was during the big event here in Los Angeles. Those of us who were part of an online Deeksha had the opportunity to receive it for all four days.
During the first remote session, a wave of energy hit me and I began to weep and weep. This was during International Deeksha Day and Amma Bhagavan were sending Deeksha from India. What happened in the next 15 minutes was transformational. I know for a fact that decades' long blocks were removed - emotional blocks that I attempted to deal with in other ways (with some success).
Thank you for writing such an informative piece on this (and the commentors, as well!) I'm still relatively new to the process but I do know this - It's turned the LIGHT in my enlightenment way up! :)
Posted by: Grace | July 18, 2007 at 12:01 AM
Thanks for your comments, Grace and Desiree. I'm particularly interested that you had such a stong reaction to remote deeksha, Grace. I look forward to catching up with you both when I get the chance to spend more time online. Once I get on a computer here at the library, there's a two hour maximum limit per day, which doesn't seem to go very far...
Posted by: Secret Simon | July 18, 2007 at 05:47 PM
The Gift of Harmony...
the 9th ray, color magenta
it brings "freedom from uncertainty" and now you know why.
Bravo Simon!
Posted by: Sue Ann Edwards | September 01, 2007 at 10:04 PM
"Freedom from uncertainty", yes, and what a liberation that is! You mention the 9th ray here and I notice you mention the 6th ray in the latest post on your blog, Sue Ann, but I've been searching your blog for an overview of these rays you are talking about and couldn't find it. Did I miss it or is it still to come?
Posted by: Secret Simon | September 02, 2007 at 12:51 AM
Happiness is indeed such an uplifting topic. Joy is the most natural thing. One way to think about it is not to seek to understand it. This is experienced through you and it involves you. Part of you understands even if other part don't seem to.
What if you decided to be determined to see things differently that you had before? Imagine sacrifice was nowhere and love and forgiveness were all you knew. The perception og goodness implies denial of the opposite, which would be anything else.
Posted by: Liara Covert | September 20, 2007 at 12:37 PM
Hi Liara - So what you are suggesting is to 'decide' to see only goodness. Is that right? I can see that this could make a big difference to our lives. Many of us have got into the habit of going round looking for 'bad' things, at least partly so that our ego can feel superior to all these things that we have decided are 'bad'. And how easy it is to find them! So if we look for things that bring us delight instead, the opposite should be true. And this is all the law of attraction of course. I should do this more often. The only thing is to make sure we aren't faking it. If we see only goodness around us, that is great. But if we see something we are experiencing as 'bad' but pretending it is 'good', because that is what we have decided to do, then we are suppressing our true emotions and turning our back on acceptance of what is real.
Posted by: Simon | September 21, 2007 at 11:08 AM