Alignment

My Dad is 88 and hasn't got much memory left. He spends a lot of his time trying to work out what he's supposed to be doing. I reassure him that he doesn't have to do anything: that he is safe in the home for the elderly where he lives, where they see to his needs and cook all his meals for him. But he can't seem to quite understand this. 'Are you sure I don't have to go out to work?' he asks. 'Yes, quite sure,' I tell him. He looks unconvinced and peers down at the book in front of him, where we write down the things that we do on my visits, searching for 'the answer'.

Perhaps, after all, there is one thing that my Dad still has to do, and I suspect he has been doing it all his life: to teach me. He has always been a worrier, and in him I see my own worries amplified. For I, too, have been searching for 'an answer' - and feeling very frustrated not to find it.

It seems to me it is a Christian idea - though doubtless shared by others - that we all have certain God-given gifts which it is our obligation to discover and make use of. More recently, this idea of finding a life's purpose has also appeared in self-development books. I have always found the concept appealing, though I have started to believe that it can also be a trap.

I used to think it was writing, this thing that I had to do. I have been driven to write since an early age and used to berate myself for writing for fanzines instead of buckling down and writing that novel. So eventually, I buckled down and wrote that novel. And another. And another. I wrote two adult fantasy novels, of a type which turned out to be out of fashion, and a children's fantasy novel which was described by an editor as being 'original but too weird to publish'. I regard having written a fantasy novel that is 'too weird' to be a certain kind of success, but unfortunately it is not the kind of success which makes money or gets readers.

What I found very difficult about all this was that I very much liked what I had written. Clearly, I needed to do better to get published, but how would I know when I was writing something better if I liked the stuff I had written which wasn't good enough? I obviously needed to upgrade my internal critic, but I wasn't sure how to do that.

So, I decided I would write something else entirely. I wrote a spirituality book. And I did what I always did: I gave it to a few likely victims people to read, listened to their feedback, and revised the book accordingly. All of which took me a year or so, by which time my ideas about spirituality had moved on so far that it didn't feel like my book any longer. I had intended to self-publish it and market it online, but I no longer had the heart to do that. I still liked a lot of what I had written but the book's angle was all wrong. It just wasn't the book I would have written if I'd written it today. I could revise it of course, but that would take me a while. By which time...

I should have been pleased, of course, that my spiritual development was moving so quickly that my writing couldn't keep pace with it, but all I felt was frustrated. Here was I with this amazing natural God-given talent for writing (ironic smiley inserted here) and not making proper use of it! What is more, if I didn't find a way to use my writing, I would feel I had failed in my life's purpose, that I had let myself - and the universe - down in some way. And yet what could I find to write? I could no longer think of anything that would 'work'. I was already writing this blog, of course, but my readership here is not exactly vast. (You are reading it, of course, which is what is really important, but we'll get to that a bit later...)

And yet, if I didn't write, what else should I do? My current state of health dictates that everything I do has to be done in short bursts punctuated by rest/meditation breaks, which kind of cuts down the available options.

I couldn't see any way out of my state of frustration.

Or could I?

A week or so ago, I decided to take a look at some of the helpful stuff which I and others write on this blog and came across a quote by Helen about asking for help. So I decided that is what I would do.

But I didn't sit down and explicitly ask for help in finding my purpose in life. I remembered what Joe Vitale had said in The Missing Secret about the importance of aligning your will with that of your higher self, something which is also implicit in a lot of what I've written here myself at The Secret Of Life.

So I asked for guidance to align my will in that way: to put aside my ego-driven desires and declare myself open to whatever the will of the universe might be, to whatever my higher self might have in mind for me.

And the wonderful thing is that I got some assistance in this.

I held various suggestions in my mind one by one and waited to see if I got a reaction. I'll explain exactly how I did this later. One thing came over very strongly: that I should be with my wife Chris. And something else which came up is that I should carry on doing this blog. The idea of writing another book did not get a reaction, and nor did another creative project which I had in mind.

Humph.

Naturally, I queried this reaction. The idea of being with Chris was all very well, but it wasn't very 'grand'. It didn't seem to involve any fame and fortune, for instance. This was me, Simon, we were talking about here, and I had always kind of thought that I had some sort of well, you know, 'destiny'. Was the universe sure that it hadn't got me muddled up with somebody else?

But the universe seemed very sure that it hadn't made a mistake. Being with Chris and writing the blog: that's what I was to do. That was my 'destiny', for the time being at least.

Hmm...

I might have been rather more disgruntled if it hadn't have been for the other things which happened during this process:

1) I experienced a feeling of overwhelming love and compassion.

2) I received healing for my neck, a long-standing problem which had been giving me a great deal of trouble in recent weeks. Since that time, it has been a lot better. I have been lucky enough to receive a great deal of healing energy over the years, but I have never previously experienced anything quite so directly 'hitting the spot' as this.

So overall, I was very happy with the outcome, thank you very much, and any misgivings I had began to fade away as a clear picture began to emerge of what I had discovered.

It seemed to me that the idea that I had some 'grand destiny' to fulfill had been a weight around my neck. Was it any wonder that I had such pain and discomfort in that part of my body? What I was being told was that I didn't have to succeed in these 'great achievements' after all. It was my ego that had laid them upon me, not the universe or God or my higher self or anything else. There were other things which were more important than these grand designs, like simply being a good husband to Chris.

It also seemed to me that the emphasis on 1) my marriage and 2) this blog was telling me something else. It was encouraging me to focus on my spiritual development. Relationships are a great way to work on self realization, because what they are about - ultimately - is recognizing the divine in each other, and so helping us to find it in ourselves. This blog, too, is a guiding hand in this process: hopefully, in some small way, for some of you, but certainly for me, for it allows me to develop my understanding of such things and to maintain my focus on the spiritual part of my life.

It also came to me that I no longer have to think so much about how many readers I get. If people are meant to find this blog, they will find it. It is as simple as that. You have found it after all, and as I have said, that is what is really important. If I only speak to one person, that is enough. Thank you for being here to read this.

Perhaps, too, at some stage, I will find a larger audience. Perhaps I will return to my books and find a way to get them 'out there'. Or perhaps I will write others. But now is not the time, and I think I will only return to such things when I have learned to get my ego out of the way, when I have found my way back to sitting down to write them because that is the thing to do, not because I have some grand vision of a 'me' that I have to become.

To be like that would only to be like my Dad, vainly searching for the thing that I have to do. He and I must both find a way to peace.

There is more I would like to say here, to discuss the feeling of compassion and healing I received for instance, but this is already a long post, so it will have to wait for another time - or perhaps for the comments section.

But one thing I do want to add as a postscript here - as promised - is to say a bit more about the way in which I communicated with the universe or my higher self or whatever it was that gave me all that useful information. This is particularly important because it is something which you may like to try for yourself. I have certainly found it useful, even liberating. Perhaps it will open a similar doorway you.

So, when I held each of those ideas in my mind (my relationship, the books, the blog etc.) and waited for a reaction, how did that come exactly? Did I hear a disembodied voice? You may be relieved to learn that I didn't. What I used was a process I developed some years before, after reading some material by a guy called Bob Scheinfeld.

What Bob suggested was to develop a process of communication with your intuition by simply asking for this to be done: to ask for some kind of physical sign meaning 'yes'. So what you do is sit down and ask your intuition (or your higher self or the universe or the quantum field or God or whatever you think the source of deep inner knowing within you may be) for a sign meaning 'yes' to allow it to share its wisdom with you. Then you sit there and wait for the sign to come.

(It's a long time since I read that book of Bob Scheinfeld's, so apologies to him if I've got his teaching here all scrambled, but I hope I've captured the gist of it.)

I seem to remember that when I first tried this, it took a few weeks for my sign to emerge, but when it eventually came it was a kind of vibration around the eyes. My eyes are very sensitive, so perhaps it is not surprising that this should have happened. Nowadays, the sign is a rather more general vibration or energy, sometimes with flashes of color. So when I put forward each of those ideas, I waited to see if that energy would come. If it did, it meant a positive reaction. If not, then negative.

I'm not claiming that this process is 100% reliable, and it's as well to test any ideas a number of times to see if you get a consistent reaction. I still feel rather surprised that I usually do...

I hope that this doesn't seem too weird. If so, then I'll just trot out the usual mantra: give it a try and see if it works for you. It's really rather similar to the idea of kinesiology, as promoted by Dr David Hawkins and others, which gives you a strong muscle reaction for 'yes' and a weak one for 'no'. The idea is that you are tapping into some deep well of truth within you. It is allowing you to partake in a part of that truth.

 

These may also be of interest:

How Much Do We Really Know?

To Simply Be

Comments

[Sally]

Simon ......we are constantly reinventing "our selves" what we think we are to do as we get up on a morning can change by lunchtime! Just be flexible and trust your intuition. This is a time of flux I feel so hold fast to your dreams and ride the storm .......and see what happens. I speak as one who has today had to look as what I thought I was and am re-evaluating ......yet holding on to my first intuition which felt so strong i can't let go of until something stronger comes through. We are all a work in progress I feel!
IN Stillness (Now)
Sally

[Simon]

Hi Sally - Thanks for reminding me that we need to be flexible. Life is a flowing river, not a bank of mud! I'm really pleased that you're holding on to your first intuition for the time being. I'm sure it's the right one too. Until, as you suggest, something even more wonderful comes along.
Much love and hugs from Simon and Chris

[Katherine]

I'm at a kind of cross-roads at the moment. AND I am experiencing a lot of neck tension/ headaches...Your post was good. I think I'm also hanging a 'significant achievement' weight around my neck. I'm going to try out the options method you suggest. Meantime, will go and do some more on my oil painting ... Thank you! You reached one person, at least.

[AngelBaby]

I do this allot only I use my pendulum to get the answers. I find it amazing when I am trying to figure out what I should or should not be doing. I am always surprised at some of the answers because they were not what I had expected. This is a great idea to do this to clear up any confusion.

Love and blessings,
AngelBaby

[Shamelle -TheEnhanceLife]

Long post, but I read every bit of it and enjoyed it.

Thanks

[Lea]

Hi Simon

Something must be going around in the worlds energy field, because I too seem to be at the "what am I to do next" point. You shared some good suggestions that made me remember some that I've used in the past. Thank you for sharing them. Blessings

[gypsy-heart]

"It also came to me that I no longer have to think so much about how many readers I get. If people are meant to find this blog, they will find it. It is as simple as that. You have found it after all, and as I have said, that is what is really important. If I only speak to one person, that is enough. Thank you for being here to read this."

I think I was meant to find your blog today, and I thank you for writing it! I read every word, and I plan to explore the links. If you could feel my energy you would know how grateful my heart is. ~gypsy-heart

[Simon]

Hi Katherine – Welcome to my blog! I’m really pleased that you found this post useful. I hope you’re enjoying your painting. I’ve taken a look at your pictures – I really like them. And with the landscape there in New Zealand, you have a lot of inspiration…

Angelbaby – Thanks for reminding me that you can do this with a pendulum. Clockwise for yes, anti-clockwise for no – is that the sort of idea? I’ve tried that method but I can’t seem to get it to work for me. I guess we all have to find our own individual connection.

Welcome Shamelle! I’m glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for dropping by!

Hi Lea – Thanks to you too for dropping by. I’m so glad you found this useful. You’re right, I think: a lot of us seem to be at this sort of stage at the moment, not least the people who are passing by this blog! But perhaps we should remind ourselves how much wonderful potential exists in a state of uncertainty.

Gypsy-Heart – Welcome to you too and thanks for your lovely comment! I’m glad you have found this useful and that I have spoken to you today.

Thanks for all your comments!

[Brenda replies]

So much of what you've written here resonates. The search for an answer, for purpose (and guilt that I can't quite discover it). This pushing back of the ego in order to get closer. The instinct, however, that any answers are somehow in my writing ... although, like you, my readership isn't exactly in the statosphere! Even the neck pain! One thing I am unclear about, though ... did you ask for a SPECIFIC sign?(ie., did you specifically ask for the sensation around your eyes?) Or did you just ask for a general sign ... the the vibration is just what manifested?

Anyway, I really appreciated this post.

[Simon]

Good to hear from you, Brenda. I'm glad you found this useful. There seem to be a lot of us in the same sort of space at the moment! Of course, it may well be that spiritual development itself is our purpose and we don't quite understand how important that is. To answer your question, I didn't ask for a specific sign. The vibration is just what manifested. I imagine the sign will be different for different people - and some people use tools such as the pendulum mentioned in Angelbaby's comment above.

[Liara Covert]

Regardless of age, anyone brought up in western society is encouraged to contribute in some capacity and ideally become self-sufficient. This kind of ingrained conditioning runs deep. It is not surprising that when other elements of memory go that the most reinforced teachings remain in the mind. What matters may change from an outside perspective looking in but certain internal perspectives are more static.

[Simon]

Nice to hear from you, Liara. As usual, you provide an interesting perspective. In the course of our lives, we are subjected to so much of this ingrained conditioning by society - conditioning which stays with us whether it serves our needs or not.

[Sue Ann Edwards]

Dearest Friend...,

I 'assume' you enjoy your Wife. And I 'assume' you enjoy your blog. I 'assume' you'd enjoy your wife no matter if anyone else did. And I 'assume' you'd still enjoy writing your blog even if nobody else read it.

What if...

the Passion of your Soul is simply its Self expression? A state of be-ing, rather then one of do-ing?

The greatest good and love any of us can DO right NOW, is LIVE our life's. Not for the purpose of seeing how much we can deny, but how much of life itself we can embrace.

And towards that goal of Self expression, (note the capital "S"), you have been well on your way. Your sight replaced with Vision and your little self's values replaced with your big Self's values.

Kind of rough being self employed and having a slave driver as a boss, huh?

Hardhead...it takes one to know one!

It's those sniveling "conditions" again in our belief system, at work in our lives.

The 1st step is an Awakening. 2nd step is to be sent back inside. 3rd step is changing things, because only after step number 2, do we know what needs to change, to bring about a transformation. It's DO-ing step #3, without the releasing of our emotional attachments accomplished in step #2, that a LOT of us keep "do-ing". Like the 'intention' for peace thingie. We just don't GET IT. Peace has to has to BE our response TO Reality before it EVER becomes a condition OF it.

Now you can relax and allow yourself to just breathe yourself in.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[Harmony]

Have you considered your own newspaper? You are such a great resource Simon for your readers. THANK YOU for hightlighting these opportunities.

[Simon]

Many thanks for this teaching, Sue Ann! As you may remember I've occasionally written here about the apparent conflict between acceptance and intention. There doesn't *have* to be a conflict, but for those of us who are not self-realized, I suspect there usually is. The lesson I took from this 'alignment' experience was to go easy on myself and set aside my ego-driven thoughts of achieving this or that or the other. As you put it, to focus on a state of be-ing rather than do-ing.

Nevertheless, old habits die hard. A few days later, thoughts of what I wished to do re-surfaced. I told myself that now I was coming from desire rather compulsion. I was focusing on what I very much *wished* to do, rather than what I thought I *ought* to. So that was OK.

Except that it wasn't. As soon as I discovered that I *couldn't* do what I desired to do, I became upset. In other words, I had already become *attached* to these desires, as light and playful as they had seemed until they were thwarted.

So I guess that, once again, I was attempting to move to step 3 before completing step 2. So this begs the question: should we drop all this law of attraction business until we have fully completed step 2? Until we have surrendered our egos and are fully self-realized? Until then, are we fooling ourselves to think it is even worth trying? I can see the argument for this and yet I feel instinctively it isn't right to abandon such dreams. It seems too harsh. Is it really so bad to 'flex our God-muscles' until they are really ready? I welcome your guidance, Sue Ann!

[Simon]

Harmony - Thanks for your kind words! What should I call my newspaper, I wonder? 'The Secret Simon Times'? Sue Ann would do the astrology column perhaps...

[Simon]

And you could do the business news, Harmony...

[Sue Ann Edwards]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Simon,

The problem with the way most have been studying the law of Attraction is that we have focused on what we would like instead of HOW we attracted what we have. We have to start with where we ARE, not where we wish to be.

As in, 'how and why in the hell did I manifest this or that?" The question sends us deeper and deeper within ourselves to get to know ourselves.

It's like many of us view this LOA thingie as something *new* in our lives. Oh boy, a new toy! When it has been what has been working in our lives ALL our lives already. We NEVER have been victims, nor are we right now, nor we will EVER be.

Once we know and understand how we got to where we are, then we have some inkling of where we might be going and if course corrections are necessary for our chosen goals.

A lot of this is coming from our survival level fears, which in turn feed our desires to control. There is no need or desire to control, when we know we are fully capable to deal with anything and everything life has to offer, just like "God" does.

I ask this question:

When you look at another, do you see a Divine Being, no matter what circumstances they are in or what they are experiencing?

And the reason I ask, is because if we do not recognize our own Divinity, then it is highly unlikely that we'd see it in anyone else.

It happens to every single one of us. We awaken and of course we want to run out and share the incredible news with everyone, especially those we are closest to and love. And we meet with the same reception as the fella did in Plato's Allegory of the cave, who unchained, went out and set his eyes on the real light and ran back into the cave to share the news with his fellows still chained.

But like him, our eyes, after looking upon the bright sonshine, have trouble seeing in the darkness of the cave again. "I'm not about to go where you did. You can't even see anymore" says those who are chained within the cave. So we meet with rejection.

BECAUSE...

Awakening is our 1st step. To go on, is to go further within. To find out what causes what for nothing exists without causes. Once empowered with this knowledge, THEN we have the Wisdom to create transformations, because we know what to transform and how to do it.

I'll use the symbols of the planets. There is the Sun, the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.

It's after we have developed self discipline (saturn), that we have the mental and emotional capacity, (due to stability) to awaken (uranus). But we have to come to know Divine Love (UNconditional Love) before we know what Genuine Compassion Is. Before this, we're running on Sympathy. AFTER that, comes the Power to transform and resurrect (pluto).

The first planets represent abilities. The last 3 represent Powers.

Does that help?

[Simon]

Thanks for this, Sue Ann! I really appreciate your time and effort. The truth is: I'm partially informed and partially bewildered. Everything seems so complicated. Just to clarify, we need to work out why we're already attracting what we're attracting first. Only when we've understood and adjusted that, so that we know where we're starting from, can we go on to create our future desires? Do I have that bit right?

[Sue Ann Edwards]

~jumping up & down, jumping up & down~

You got it!!!!!

{{{{{{applause}}}}}}

Say, for instance, I was going to remodel a broken down house. There's evidence of water damage all over the place. I can replace the sheet rock, spray texture and paint the walls to look new, however, if I haven't found nor repaired the water leak, all my efforts will come to naught. My new walls will be damaged, just like my old ones were.

I can replace the walls over and over and over but until I fix the roof, I never will end up with a cozy place.

Another way that can maybe convey understanding by use of example is something that happened to a friend of mine. She asked me for help because her computer was all messed up. When I took a look at her computer, I knew what was up.

I'd never seen so many programs loaded on one machine before. Multiple programs that do the same thing. Programs she had no need or use for. And all of these programs were set to start on startup. I bet there were 55 little icons across the bottom of the screen.

Fixing her machine was easy. I simply started deleting programs she had never used or had no need for. Then I went in an adjusted what programs started upon startup.

Her computer was not functioning as she desired because she had too many programs running that were in conflict with each other. So my point is this: installing a new program doesn't do any good until we clear out the old programs that are not compatible with it.

I guide to not stress yourself trying to figure out what all these programs are, but to trust. Your Spirit/Soul *knows* and also *knows* what it's going to take for you to 'let go'. Remember I have used the word "herded" before. Just like situations and experiences in your life, 'herded' you to start looking within.

It's the 'doing' that messes most of us up. Like 'doing' something to change some outer circumstance. Like all these 'meditations' and so forth. I keep trying to share to STOP IT.

Instead of trying to change the outer forms, what needs 'doing' is changing our relationship TO these outer forms. BE we accepting or BE we condemning?

The most retarding beliefs we have are those that imagine all the airy fairy 'love & light' smiles and sunshine nonsense. Reminds me of a bunch of little girls having a tea party with their dolls. Let's talk about "emotional coping skills" or our lack thereof, instead. For this is where our recognition of our Divine Heritage will start expressing itself.

[Simon]

Thanks for your encouragement, Sue Ann! I wonder if you could do a post on practical emotional coping skills. Or did you already do one and I missed it?

I keep intending to do your 'I love you' seven times exercise but I never do, which is significant in itself, I guess. It's time to start leaving notes for myself about that...

I also do my best to fully experience and so let go of my emotions, making sure that I don't stoke them up by getting into a mental dialog about them. Then there's the advanced stuff about being OK with myself about the emotions I feel - I'm still working on that one. And it's coming to me that I should also be looking a bit more about *why* I react the way I do, trying to understand the ingrained patterns which produce the emotions in the first place. Are these the sort of strategies you mean?