My New Year Strategies For Spiritual Development

Well, I seem to be keeping to my New Year's Resolutions so far. This may not seem all that impressive, only a short way into January, but it's good going for me. I've normally forgotten them by lunchtime on New Year's Day.

What I decided this year was to put some of the useful stuff I write about in this blog into action for a change. All too often, I'm all full of bright ideas when I'm writing, but they slip out of sight when I switch off the PC.

This year it's going to be different. I'm going to be different...

There are two main simple strategies I'm putting into practice. Simplicity is important, I think, for actually doing stuff. Anything too complicated tends not to be there in the front of your brain when you need it.

The first thing is to deal with some of this great big well of negative emotions inside me. Goodness knows, I've been writing here about dealing with these emotions for long enough, and I have been acting on some of my advice. But it's a big issue for me - as I think it is for most of us, if we're willing to face up to it - and I really need to start doing more.

The hard bit is remembering what's really going on when those unwanted emotions well up inside you, when you get all annoyed or whatever particular emotion is bugging you today. That's the time when it's easy to lose the plot entirely and start getting all caught up in the drama of the situation. And you feel so unspiritual: 'like I've done all this new agey stuff all these years but I'm still like a bear with a sore head when some idiot does something I don't like. I should not be jumping around shaking my fists with steam coming out of my ears at this stage in my spiritual development! It's not fair!'

But it's a question of remembering that when this happens, it is part of our spiritual development: a very important part. These emotions are coming up to be released. I've written about this in more detail, including the various techniques for release in my recent post Letting Go, but the crucial ingredient of my New Year's Resolution is to remember to make the right connection in my head about what these emotions are all about.

When emotions came welling up, the old Simon used to get sucked into the drama of whatever situation had triggered them off, thereby stoking them up even more. If he thought about spiritual matters at all, he would reflect on the unfortunate contrast between the calm, joyful, advanced being he wished to be and the raging inconsolable madman he actually was. Which made him feel even worse...

But when these emotions well up now, the new Simon makes the all-important connection and thinks 'Ah-ha! There is work to be done! These emotions are coming up to be released!' and starts to put the appropriate techniques into action.

The last few days, since I've been doing this consistently, I've felt some really massive energy begin to shift within me. As a result of this, some emotional blocks to doing stuff are starting to fall away at last.

The second prong of my New Year's Resolution is to be in the moment more, instead of spending so much time in my mind. Once again, this is something I've written about a great deal here at The Secret Of Life - and most recently on Harmony's blog - but actually doing it for any length of time (like for more than a few moments) has proved more difficult.

For some reason, something seems to have shifted now, and I'm managing to close down my unnecessary mental chatter for longer periods of time. Partly I'm doing this by stringing along my ego, working to appease the very part of me that keeps those internal thoughts droning on in the first place. I tell the 'little me' inside what a wonderful achievement it will be if I can only switch off my mind for the next two minutes, or until I get home, or until I reach the next lamp post - or whatever suitable marker is in the offing...

It seems to respond well to these challenges and goes along with me at least some of the time...

It's great when this happens: when the chatter drops away and you feel the power of the moment, when you're really present in the now. There's sometimes peace, sometimes joy, always stillness. If you haven't yet connected with this, you may find it's easiest to experience when you're out in nature: out in the country or in a garden. You can read more about it in Eckhart Tolle's books. I particularly recommend the concise, very practical volume Practicing The Power Of Now.

To help stabilize this state, I'm also using a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique called anchoring. I've picked a word that describes best how I feel when I'm like this: 'joy', which I then repeat to myself when I'm in the present moment and also when I want to get back there. After a while, the mind begins to connect the word 'joy' with this state and so in time simply saying - or thinking - the word 'joy' brings me back there.

A bonus effect is that saying the word 'joy' when I'm in the moment is also a good way to keep the mind occupied. Whereas it could easily drift back into its usual internal monologue, it is too busy instead with its allotted task of repeating this word. (The best way to outsmart the mind is to tie it up in one of its own tricks...)

I don't remember to use these two techniques all the time, but by keeping them simple and, I think, moving them up my subconscious list of priorities, I'm putting them into practice more and more. And the more I use them, the more they are becoming a habit.

To summarize, the two strategies are:

1) Realize that emotions coming up are an opportunity, not a setback: use the techniques to feel and so release them.

2) Switch off the mind and be in the moment. Use the NLP anchoring technique to help to stay in this state and return there.

This strategy is already starting to pay off. I've spent the whole of today 'in the zone', the first time this has happened for ages. I don't know how long I'll stay like this - it's not usually more than a day or two - but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Each time I reach this state, it's subtly different. The all-important connection to joy is there if I pay attention to it, but this time the natural focus is much more on a kind of inner stillness and calm fluid action. The internal dialogue is largely silent - naturally silent, I'm not having to force it right now - and the internal critic, in particular, is keeping its trap shut, which is a cause for celebration in itself. There's a kind of quiet confidence about everything I do. It never occurs to me that I won't be able to do whatever I choose - though admittedly I haven't tried sky diving or bungee jumping yet. My actions seem to flow and be easy. When I've done one thing, I move on to the next, and whatever I'm doing, it always seem to be exactly the right thing for me to be doing right now. There's no self-doubt about it.

These aren't extraordinary things I'm doing: I've done the ironing, written some letters, repaired my glasses, written this blog... How does that famous saying go?  'Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.' That seems to be how it is shaping up in this latest mini-taster of progress I'm having. 2009 feels great so far. And it's still only January...

(P.S. If you're a blogger you may be interested in The Quote Effect, an interesting new project by Davina of Shades of Crimson. This is your chance to contribute three favorite quotes from your blog for inclusion in Davina's upcoming eBook. There are more details here.)

Comments

[AngelBaby]

I am going to have to try some of this and see how it works for me. I will let you know how I do, OK?

Love and Blessings,
AngelBaby

[Davina]

Hi Simon. LOL. "...getting all caught up in the drama of the situation. And you feel so unspiritual: "like I've done all this new agey stuff all these years but I'm still like a bear with a sore head when some idiot does something I don't like." -- Yep, I know that feeling. :-)

Like you, I've stated to myself that this year I want to get out my mind (not go out of my mind of course), and tune in more to the heart place. I like the word you have chosen to represent your Now -- Joy is the name of my Future Self. I met her during a Future Self Meditation.

Hey,thanks for linking to The Quote Effect. Close to 30 bloggers have signed up so far. The excitement is building. I still haven't written mine yet? How are you making out with yours?

[Simon]

Hi Angelbaby - Yes, do let me know how you get on! And if you think I can be of any help, just ask...
Love and blessings to you too!

[Simon]

Hi Davina - Thanks for dropping by. It's reassuring to know that many of us have similar experiences - and nice to know that we're both heading for Joy!

Your 'Quote Effect' is a great idea. I'm hoping to trawl through my blog to find quotes instead of trying to come up with something new. I know there are nuggets of wisdom in here somewhere - I remember writing them! Well, they *seemed* good at the time, at any rate...

[Liara Covert]

Simon, everything you choose to think and feel can be extraordinary. How you view yourself and your life all stems back to your state of mind. Great to hear you are revved up for new stages in your personal transformation. Some people truly believe the best is yet to come.

[Grace]

Ahhhh, this was such a wonderful post to read, Simon! :) How it touches me to know that you're feeling in the zone, and that your Joy level is filling up.

I sometimes think that Joy is less of an 'emotion' (like happiness), and more of a spiritual energy - if that makes sense. Happiness is so contingent on outer natural circumstances and is totally ego driven. Joy, on the other hand, is super-natural. There are so many scriptures that talk about Joy....did you know that it is reported that in God's presence, a full measure of JOY is experienced?

Jesus said that He came that came and spoke the things that our "joy might be full". (A stark contrast to those that would use his words to condemn, huh?)

Another scripture says that the Joy of the Lord is (literally) our strength. Now, I suppose people can interpret that any way they want. Me? Here's my interpretation:

The Joy of living in a state of unconditional love strengthens me.
:)

[Simon]

Liara - Of course you are right: all experience can be extraordinary. As it happens, the experience I identified as ‘in the zone’ only lasted a day on this occasion. The following day, I wanted it back, and kept judging the way I was feeling – without that connection to joy – as second best. So, of course, I did not get it back. We can only create what we wish if we lose our attachment to it first. True enlightenment is when we are OK about however we are feeling, about whatever is going on in our lives. It is when we are unattached to any condition, including whether or not we feel ‘enlightened’.

[Simon]

Hi Grace - Sorry you had a bit of trouble posting your comment. They keep 'upgrading' Typepad these days, a word which always strikes terror into my heart. :-) The outcome, of course, is that it is becoming increasingly flaky. But my experience is that comments always appear eventually, even when they seem to have disappeared into the ether.

You left two versions of your comment and asked me to delete the second if the first showed up, but there is a bit of the version that got deleted I'd like to share here. It's just a different way of expressing what you've already said but it seems to me to sum things up perfectly. You wrote: 'When we are energized with the spiritual power of JOY, we literally are strengthened from the inside out.'

This is a great way of putting things, because we tend to rely so much on being strengthened from *the outside in*. In other words, we draw our strength from outside circumstances. The trouble with this is that we have no control over those circumstances. The joy of which you speak, however, is always present. It is a *constant* source of strength.

I mentioned in the post that my focus on this occasion was not on the joy, yet the joy was always present if I looked for it - and it was the presence of the joy which underlay the whole experience.

This brings me back to my comment to Liara, however. The following day, I was no longer 'in the zone'. The connection to joy seemed to have disappeared. The 'trick', I suppose, is to realize that the joy, the love, is always present, even when we *seem* to have lost it.

Thank you so much for dropping by and sharing your thoughts, Grace.

[Alexys Fairfield]

Hi Simon,
Happy New Year! Glad to hear that you are keeping your resolutions, but if you keep them what will you have to look forward to next year? ;D

I am surprised to hear that you have negative emotions welled up inside of you because every time I read your posts or read your comments, they are always full of love. Are you sure that you have negative emotions? Remember that I have keen eyesight and if I only see love then it means that is what is evident.

As long as we make a conscious effort to accept the changes in our lives, I think that we are on the winning side.

You know when you think about your muscles you feel stronger. So perhaps if you think about love, you would feel love? Worth a try. :D

[Marion]

Happy New Year, Simon...it sure sounds as if you're off to a really great start.

Joy is one of my favourite ways of being to write about. When I write about joy, even my heart wants to dance along with my fingers on the keyboard. Thank you for this post!

[Simon]

Hi Alexys - Thanks for your encouragement! It's great to hear that my words come across as being full of love - I could wish for no more. I guess I recognize my negative emotions for what they are - energy stored inside me - so when I write, I know better than to allow those emotions to be expressed. Would that I could manage this as well in my everyday life!

But yes, I do *have* those emotions, and I believe it would be a mistake to deny that. It seems to me that there are differences in outlook between us spiritual types when it comes to this sort of stuff. There are those (and perhaps you are one of them, Alexys) who place the emphasis on using the law of attraction and creating happiness in our lives, and there are others such as myself who place the emphasis on acceptance. If we are feeling bad, we believe in feeling it. This doesn't mean to say that we have to wallow in misery all the time. There is a place for techniques such as NLP which can make us feel better. But ultimately it is not so much about feeling good as about feeling OK about *however* we are feeling.

Perhaps we might call the two camps the feel-gooders and the miserable so-and-so's. :-) Ultimately there is nothing between us. Both camps believe in our ability to create our own lives, our ultimate ability to create heaven on earth. It is just that some of us believe we have a lot of sh*t to work through first. Maybe we just have more karma than the rest of you - or maybe we have an unhealthy belief system, I don't know. But from where I'm standing, I'm just being real.

I welcome your thoughts on this, Alexys, and those of anyone else who may come across this! Thanks so much for your stimulating comment.

[Simon]

The joy comes across in your comment, Marion - thank you! Happy New Year to you too...

[Alexys Fairfield]

Hi Simon,

It's okay to have those emotions. I think it's in the way that they are processed that affects us - sort of like spiritual digestion, if you will. I would not recommend that anyone deny their emotions, whether they deem them positive or negative; emotions are a river that must run through us and that's just it, they run through us, we don't have to cling on to the side of the river. We literally have to go with the flow (no pun intended.)

Personally I don't use the law of attraction. I do believe in creating love in everything, and that too is acceptance. It doesn't mean that I don't accept anything other than love, I just metabolize negativity quickly and it is not a part of me. If we don't accept ourselves then we cannot accept anyone else. I think it is still good to feel good about feeling okay (that was a mouth full.) If we get past labels that's even better. We feel what we feel because we feel. (Okay I am on a roll.)

Karma does come into play, but sometimes that is still not enough to make one feel satisfied. We are all works in progress, so the more we work on ourselves, the better we will are able to ascertain what makes us happy - and isn't that what we all want? To feel okay is still feeling content, thus satisfied.

Thanks for your candor and for what it's worth, I still think that you have a lot of love inside you that's working through the mire.

Thanks for sharing your story.

(This is the fourth attempt to post and the fourth browser. Keep 'em crossed.)

[Simon]

Hi Alexys – Thanks for getting back on this and sorry you had so much trouble. Thanks for persisting! I think I shall have to upgrade to Typepad’s new (beta) comments system. The word ‘beta’ usually means ‘avoid’ as far as I am concerned but as the old system no longer seems to be working too well, I may have to ‘go with the flow’!

What you say about emotions running through us agrees totally with my own understanding of things, Alexys. This is the way it should be for us all: expressing our emotions in response to the events of life and then moving on, just as a small child does. Light and shadow in fluid succession like clouds across the sun. What you say about metabolizing negativity quickly suggests that you are already there, or somewhere close to it – good for you! That’s where I would like to be – though I have only just begun to react more mindfully to my emotions, seeking to metabolize them (as you put it) instead of getting sucked into the attendant drama all the time. The problem is that as well as dealing with these new emotions, I also have my sleeping volcano of suppressed ones to deal with, a store which the new ones often key into, provoking fresh eruptions. (It makes me sound like a fireworks display, doesn’t it?)

A lot of my spiritually-minded friends seem to recognize and share this problem of suppressed emotions. It probably doesn’t help that we’re English – a stiff upper lip serves no one! It’s great if you don’t have this sleeping volcano, Alexys. I find myself wondering if you once had such a thing and have dealt with it – or have you always gone through life feeling free to express your emotions instead of suppressing them?

I think that creating love is the law of attraction in its purest form – that and sending out gratitude perhaps, though perhaps love and gratitude amount to the same thing? Really this is the only form of the LOA with which I’m comfortable myself. When we radiate love, we create love in the world – why not let the universe decide what precise form that will take?

Thank you for seeing the love in me! Yes it is here, and it is indeed helping to burn through the mire. I should just like to be able to express it more fully and freely. Some day I shall…

Thanks so much for responding, Alexys, and for sharing your love with the world!

[Alexys]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for such an in depth response.

I have a suggestion for your "sleeping volcano of suppressed emotions." Since it sounds like you have a lot of misdirected passion (energy), why not channel it differently - perhaps creative projects such as, art, photography, writing, singing, dancing, or rugby, (I know how you Brits love rugby and you sacrifice your teeth to prove it), just to mention some.

You would still be acknowledging the energy and what you are doing is essentially moving the energy (redirecting it) to another outlet where it can be expressed and it doesn't lay in your heart.

There is nothing more spectacular than a fireworks display. (See I have an answer for everything.) (Well, not really, I still can't figure out Rubik's cube or this weeks winning lottery numbers.)

"I find myself wondering if you once had such a thing and have dealt with it – or have you always gone through life feeling free to express your emotions instead of suppressing them?"

I understand what you mean with the stiff upper lip. I can't say that I have always gone through life expressing my emotions - I am not really overly emotionally fueled, I let them process themselves naturally. (That's probably a personality trait.)

If I find any unresolved emotions, I process them through meditation.

I am really glad that you explained your views on LOA. It is not a fad like it is purported to be in the media. Once Oprah mentions something she tends to ruin it.

I like the way you put it - creating love. I believe gratitude IS a big part of it.

I don't think you have to worry about expressing love - you already do it by existing. We are all unique expressions of love.

Let's keep radiating and creating love.

Thanks Simon for radiating love. I can see you glowing. ;D

Blessings,
Alexys

[Simon]

Thanks for your lovely words, Alexys - and for your suggestion of finding another channel to express my emotions. I don't know about rugby - maybe another sport... For some reason, paint-balling comes to mind! Or custard pie throwing... Now there's an idea: maybe I should join the circus! Seriously though, perhaps I should indeed find a new way to express my emotions. Maybe some other form of writing? I wonder if that would help...

Thank you for your suggestion, Alexys, and thanks for this interesting discussion. I am radiating you my gratitude. I hope you can feel it. :-)

[gypsy-heart]

Interesting post and comments!

You said:
"True enlightenment is when we are OK about however we are feeling, about whatever is going on in our lives. It is when we are unattached to any condition, including whether or not we feel ‘enlightened’."
That summed it beautifully, for me!

Thank you for BEing!

~gypsy-heart

[Simon]

Hi Gypsy-heart - It's great to hear from you. I'm glad that you read the comments too. I often wonder if people do. They're often the best bit!

Yes, I think that's it: reaching a place beyond attachment, beyond 'good' and 'bad'. 'Equanimity' is my favorite word of the moment! Thanks so much for calling.